Varig is driving me nuts! I swear to God, if I had the ability to pop, I would have today. Maybe I do have that ability but more tolerance for complete absurdity than I previously thought...

Yesterday I called Varig to look into the availability of space on the flights I might change to in order to accommodate the cat issues. They told me there was space available on eight flights on the 18th. I would not be permitted, however, to make a reservation for the space until I had changed my ticket. After a long conversation with Meuamor's friend in Sampa who is now in cahoots with me, I had come to the decision that I would delay my arrival to Bahia by a day and stay in Sampa overnight to give the cats a break from being in crates and me time to rest and shower outside of an airport, airplane, or related apparatus. This seemed the best decision at the time. So the plan today was to call the airline and find out if there was space on the flight I intended to change to, and if so, change my flight and reserve the space.

So today I called Varig again, to check the space availability on the flights on the 19th that I felt would accommodate my time frame. Upon explaining the situation, the woman on the other end of the phone told me that they had no way to check the availability of space for pets on these flights. I explained to her that I had gotten the information quite clearly yesterday to the contrary, but she insisted and insisted she could not tell me anything. She constantly would go back to the standard phrase "I cannot request a reservation for you because we don't have access to that information."

I finally got aggravated trying to deal with her, since she didn't seem to understand the information or how I was going about trying to acquire it. So I asked to talk to another person. A new woman get on the phone and told me the same thing! I was almost in tears at this point, thinking of the prospect of paying to change to this flight, requesting the space, and then finding out there wasn't any and having to pay to change my flight again, then finding out there was no space yet again.... Much like my experience with getting the documents from the vet to the USDA, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...

At this point the woman seems to realize I am seriously about to loose it (despite having yelled over the phone at these people for half an hour), and suggests I make a request to reserve the space on the flight to see if it is available. If it is, I can book the flight, and if not, I can change to another flight and request that space. So, I in fact CAN reserve space for animals on a flight I am not booked for. I have just been given the exact opposite, TO THE "T", of the information I received yesterday! Why this information changes from day to day, I don't know....

So now I am holding a reservation on my new flight, awaiting this information from Varig. And there are still no documents from the consulate.

One day of delay to Bahia...

After much discussion at the office, it has been concluded that to keep the cats inside of these crates for the 36 hour period that is required to complete this trip in 2 days is inhumane and cruel, so I will be staying over in Sampa and flying out the next morning to finish the last leg of my trip. This will be pleasant for a number of reasons, one being the fact that the cats will get to run around a bit outside of the crates, another being that I will get to sleep and shower before seeing Meuamor, and last that I will get to spend more time with one of the dearest friends my love has, who is my contact in Sampa and is providing me with rides and a bed to sleep in. So now all that is left is to get the papers for the cats back from the consulate, and pay to switch my flight.

At least it is only money and not my first born child...

I still don't know when I get to arrive in Bahia now. I am thinking of changing my flight to the last possible departure time just to be on the safe side. That would put me in at about 10 pm, which works out okay, I guess, but kind of ruins my plan to surprise Meuamor... And also requires me to be on planes in transit for over 30 hours (cats too!), which does not sound like a great way to start a new life...

I had planned to get there, go to the house, drop off cats, luggage, shower, become a real person again, and then go to the school and wait in the break room until he came down between classes. I visualize him dropping everything and crying - he's a great emotional goof like that. The plan now would be to get several other people in on this surprise and have some of them take him out to the bar after work, so I could get to the house, let the cats out, shower, and sit there and wait for him to get home. There is something about him finding me unexpectedly rather than me finding him to make this surprise that is just more appealing to me. I hope this all works out...

One issue after another...

I talked to Meuamor last night after he talked to the customs people and the Continental Airlines people. After calling and talking to Continental and discovering I have to drop the cats off at a special cargo area when I leave the US, and that I also have to pick them up in a special cargo area in Sampa GRU airport, I was a tad concerned about how I would accomplish both that and customs and immigration requirements in my 3 hour layover. So, still keeping this little secret of my actual departure date, I had Meuamor call and ask where this place was and if it were at all possible to get the cats on time or if it was inevitable that I would be missing my 12 noon flight. He also was to inquire as to whether or not I would have to pay tax for all the crap I will be entering the country with, none of it being new.

So he has found that: The Department of Agriculture of Brasil is only open for inspection of incoming animals from 9am to 2pm. The Continental people will not release my cats from their cargo area until probably about 2pm. This makes it impossible for me to make my 12 noon flight, and also appears that it will make it impossible for me to have them go through the Department of Agriculture that day as well, meaning - I will be spending the night in Sampa and I also have purchased a ticket for $280 that I cannot use.

I believe I can cancel my ticket for $150 fee, however, I still have to purchase another ticket on top of that. I found that on the Varig web site I can purchase one for even cheaper that what I originally paided, but I can only buy a one way ticket from the Brasil version of the website, not the American/English version. I am worried that if I try to purchase a ticket from there I either will not qualify and will not be able to, or they will send the paper ticket by MAIL and I will not get it in time. Either way, I am a little upset at the amount of money I keep having to spend to accomplish this - the credit card is almost maxed out as it is, and a T.A. stipend does not allow me to make an significant payments.

I will have to pay a fee for both the release of the cats from the cargo place in Sampa and to have the Agriculture people look at them. Continental will take US$ or R$, while the Agriculture people will only take R$.

I will hopefully not have to pay any tax money on my old stupid crappy used things I am bringing, but I will inevidabley be searched etc. because I will have large suitcases...

Today, I bought cat carriers. That is about it... But they are really nice cat carriers.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So yesterday was not over until today!

First, I woke up late to go to the radio station, so I did not get to shower, eat, have COFFEE or anything. Luckily I wasn't so late that the poor 2-6am DJ was dieing to leave and was nice enough to go buy me a bottle of water so I could in fact function in the studio, as it was 80 degrees in there this morning... So, 4 long hours, now that's done.

I leave the station and head back to the USDA to have my new Rabies certificates for the cats that I picked up last night between class and showing a movie to my students. After all the bull shit from yesterday, I would think they could have gotten it right. The woman at the USDA is not happy that they were signed by the vet assistant in place of the vet. So, guess where I got to go? Back to the old vet a THIRD time. Apparently the vet didn't get it that the first two times I was there to get this document that I was SERIOUS the they were necessary to leave the country (I really am very displeased with them for wasting my time); perhaps they just thought I wanted them for some non official reason (can you hear the sarcasm in my writing? If not, I can call you...). I drive back across town, pick up the third copy of certificates, take those back to the USDA, they stamp those and finally I am close to getting them on the way.

Only problem now was that I had not gotten the money order for the documents to be approved by the consulate. I had planned to do that after I left the station but I had had to do all this driving back and forth across town again, so now I was out of time. So, I take the envelopes from the USDA office with me and rush back to campus for a meeting at 12. I arrive just in time to walk into the meeting, get some handouts, and explain my aggravation to a few colleagues who listened while making these terrible wincing faces (perhaps I was spitting on them in my hurry and irritation).

After the meeting, I walk across campus to the bank to get a money order for the consulate, then walk to the post office to see if I can mail FedEx from there - I cannot. So, I call the number on the envelope to find out how much I must write the check for the mail it, and what the proper procedure is for these types of things. At least they were very nice. Did you know you can just write a check and stick it in the pocket with the airbill or whatever it's called? Seems a little unsafe to me...

So here I am with this damn envelope and I am no where near a drop box. I just want to get rid of the damn thing now, I am so tired of this process. And I have to do all this for my police record, my diplomas, what else.... If I have to go back out to that vet office again in the next week, I am going to pop...

And I thought phone calls were a hassle... I spent an hour on the phone this morning, calling all over to make sure I had everything I possibly could covered at that point covered. Every phone call made me feel a little bit more in control of this incredibly fucked up situation. I was starting to feel like this might actually be accomplished...Because so much of my necessary documentation seems to only be issuable before 3pm, Monday through Friday, I had to skip the first half of my class today (I had permission AND a presentation today) to drive all over creation and try to accomplish some of this utter bull shit that I must go through to get married, just because I am not Brasilian....

From what I determined in my plethora of phone calls, was that I need to have everything notarized and stamped a million times (I know, exaggeration...). How I will do this is another matter...

I left directly from teaching to go to the USDA office and have them stamp and sign my health certificates for the kitties. I had made an appointment last week to come in at 2:30pm to do this, but I thought being a little early couldn't hurt. Probably a good thing, since I had a hard time finding the office as I was looking at the wrong sheet of scribbled notes and didn't have the directions with me. I still got there earlier than I needed to be. After some brief discussion with the woman at the desk, we discovered that some how I had not gotten all of the documents necessary - there needed to be a separate Rabies certificate along with the health certificate, and I didn't have that! So, we called my new vet, who informed me that they cannot issue it because they did not vaccinate the cat; I had to call my old vet on the other side of the city and have them issue it. So, while on the phone with them, and getting talked two by two different people in the office of the USDA, I am informed that Rabies certificates are not issued for cats, only for dogs, but that they can print out something official for me to pick up.

Driving for 20 minutes, belting out Marisa Monte in my car, and I arrive at the old vet to find they have printed out some records and highlighted the necessary information. I asked them if this was suitable for sending to the consulate, and they said it was as official as it got, so I took it and drove back across town to the USDA and presented them with the printouts. They were totally mystified as to why I had brought them this crap that could have been printed by anyone and didn't even have the name of the vet who had vaccinated the cats on it. The state vet finally decides to notarize and sign the document, explaining to me how he was trying to make it look more valid, for which I was incredibly grateful. The woman at the USDA desk tells me I should go back and get different documents and get them stamped because there is infact a certificate for cats in this state. I got the stamps, signatures, and left there a little over an hour after which I had first arrived, in exchange for $48. It was now 3:30.

The next thing on my list was to go get finger printed, since I needed my criminal record. This can only be done by certain police stations and apparently only at 3pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays. But, I had called the police station this morning to ask if it might be alright if I arrived late, since I didn't know how long I needed to be at the USDA (lucky for me that I had gotten there early, or I would have still been there at that point), and they had told me that it went from 3pm-4pm. So, like a bat out of hell ( I love cliches), I sped to the police station (I think there is some irony here) and rushed into an almost totally empty office. I told the nice police man that I needed my finger prints taken for immigration/emigration, to which he replied "we do that at 3pm." I was about to loose it, and just stated that I had tried to get there ontime, but it had not been possible. Amazingly enough, he actually told me to sit down and he would get someone with me soon. Amazing, because I expected these guys to be total assholes.

So they took me back, finger printed me like a common criminal, and then released me to the real world again, smelling like cheap antibacterial wipes and with slightly greyer fingers, with my new finger print card. Hooray, so now what the fuck am I supposed to do with it? I hadn't a clue, but I hoped to have it notarized or something there, so I asked, but no such luck... At least this service was free...

Next I asked if I could get my criminal record (or rather the nonexistence of one), since I seemed to remember someone telling me I needed it, so the nice policeman sent me to another police branch office on the other end of the complex. I wandered in there, not knowing really why I was there, but assuming that my criminal record might be interesting to look at, so what the hell... First thing they asked for was my finger prints - how convenient I had just had them done! So I gave them the inked up card, wrote them a check for $31, and went on my merry way. So my nonexsistent criminal record will arrive in two weeks, I hope. It was now 4:10.

Back into the car, rush rush rush, to campus, just in time for the break during my class, and just in time to give a killer presentation, I think...

After class, I jump back into my car and drive back out to my old vet to request the correct documents, which they provide (now, but 3 hours earlier, where were they?), and sign the ones I already have collected and paid to have stamped. The vet seems very annoyed that I for some reason didn't know that they were giving me the wrong documents earlier that day and that I had to waste their precious five minutes asking them extra questions (God knows I don't want to make a THIRD trip out there in two days).

So now, tomorrow, after I finish at the radio station, I will go back to the USDA office a THIRD time and have them sign and notarize the new, more correct documents, probably for another $48....

Why am I doing this again? For love right....?

Even with all the excitement building over the last several weeks, I am very worried about this move. I am not sure I am ready to leave my whole life behind. I was at my mothers yesterday and I almost cried because of the thought of not being able to wade through the river again in the summer, going tubing in August... Nostalgia is a killer, let me tell you. I think though, that I will NEVER be ready to leave it all, really. I mean, who really is ever ready to leave your whole life? I will never be ready, so I just have to DO it. So, I am...

Yes, getting health certificates for cats is a big pain in the ass. They are okay just chilling in crates now, but they are absolutely psycho when they are in a moving vehicle. I don't know how they will handle a plane ride. Maybe a lack of constant movement and a lot of white noise will do them some good. I hope they will not freak out too much. I am still not too sure I want to use tranquilizer on them, I worry if they are too cold but too doped up to move much, if they might get frost bite or something. Their little eartips get cold easily. Poor little things. So, one visit down, one to go in less than a month's time. Joy.

I never knew how much crap I could do without until I started thinking in my mind what I absolutely NEED to take down there. I have been living in my own place for 2 years alone, 4 years with roommates, and 6 years outside my parent's house. In that time I have acquired enough to furnish a sizable apartment. And now, I must find places to sell this sizable amount of crap to. This is the biggest process. I have had several friends who said they might be interested in taking some things, but so many are in this "well, maybe, let me see..." mode - Seriously! I am LEAVING! I cannot take this MAYBE stuff anymore, either you take the things or I have to start asking other people. I cannot just store this stuff somewhere in case you decide you want it later....

I miss my friends....

Long time between updates. This week has been busy. Today I will get the cats health certificates from the vet. This will be a painful process, as I have to get both cats into the carrier and transport them, crying and yowling, to the vet and have them examined. Updates on that later today...

Today was a the day of endless phone calls to no avail. I am aware, I think, of what documents I need to get married in Brasil. I am trying to do my best to secure them before I leave (this is kind of a necessity), however from what I was told by others, they would be easy to get. I think the judgment of easy is purely dependent on having done it. I spent at least 2 hours on the phone today, trying to call the RIGHT numbers to find the documents that I needed. One of them, at this point, I am not even sure actually exists.

I did manage to secure reservations for the two animal spaces in cargo on my Varig flight, which was a relief. They only charge you for the extra weight, not even for the extra space taken up by the cages, so I am a little less poor than I thought I would be. It seems rather silly that I can reserve these spaces now with a non-American company that isn't even based in this country, but I can't do jack for the Continental flight until 10 days before when I get the second health certificate.

For the cats to get there little furry butts down there on the same flight as me, I must take them to the vet, get their health checked out, get an official health certificate from the vet($30), take that to the USDA APHIS Vet people here, have them look at it and approve it($40), then take that, some paperwork I don't' know exists yet, and $40 and mail it to the Brasilian Consulate in Chicago to get it all approved. This must be done 30 days or less previous to my flight. This then gets mailed back to me and I have 30 days from the issuing of the consulate to get them out of the country and through customs in Brasil. Then, again, 10 days or less before my flight, I have to take the cats to the vet AGAIN and have them issue ANOTHER health certificate just to get them on the plane with Continental. Geez, what a freakin' hassle. Worth it however, to have my fuzzies by my side in Brasil.

Getting my police record, or rather statement that I don't have one, has proven to be a process of trial and error. I called one police department, who told me to call another one, who told me they did not issue it and I had to come be finger printed at 3pm on a Tuesday or a Thursday and then take a bunch of paperwork (and probably some $$$ too) and mail that to the INS. Some 3 weeks later (if I'm lucky) they might return a statement saying I don't have a police record. I will most likely be in Brasil by the time this happens, so hopefully they have international mailing...

I was also previously informed that I need a statement saying I am NOT married. This is a type of certificate that no one I know has heard of before and does not know how to go about getting. So I called the city clerks office, who directed me to call the county clerks office, who informed me that they can issue a statement and notarize it saying that I never applied for a marriage license in this county. But that only applies to this county. So if I am to have a statement showing I am not married in the continental US, it seems I need to apply for one in each county of each state, which is ridiculous. There must be either some other document, or the person who thinks I need it is on crack.

At least I know once I am in the country, I will be able to move about freely. But actually getting there is in no way set in stone...

I am having several worries today. One of the main ones being what the fuck am I going to do if I can't get out of customs in time for my Varig connection flight? I only have 3 hours between landing time and departure time of the next flight. And I will have the cats, so I am sure this will require more time... I have been hearing terrible things about the delays in the airports, I am so worried about it! If worst comes to worst I will have to buy another plane ticket I guess, but with everything else on credit, plus the unknown cost of the cat transport... I am worried I will max out my credit card in a hurry, and then what? What will I do with no income for 3 months? How will I ever pay this off? I wish someone could figure out what I need to do for the cats....

This is the first entry! I purchased my tickets last week, leaving on May 17th, arriving on May 18th. As of yet, Meuamor does not know I am comming this early. He thinks I am comming in July. This move will be huge and crazy because I now only have a little over a month to get it all figured out. I found that my visa has not expired, so I don't have to go through that whole mess again, thank goodness, but I do still need to get the cats there safely. More updates to come...