quarta-feira, junho 04, 2008
I spend a small amount of time everyday thinking about how different Ju's childhood is from mine. And probably how completely different it is from my husband's as well. Culture is such a big deal, traditions... everything is all mixed up in this house. It's like a 3rd culture is being created right here. I wonder how much impact it will have on him later in life. Will he want to move to the States? Go to college there? Will he look fondly back on his childhood in Brasil and remember when he could swim naked in public or pee in the bushes and everyone would laugh, or will he lament that we didn't have the money or access to go to things like theme parks and libraries (well maybe that last one is my own personal lament based on my childhood memories)? Have I taught him to love books enough? Will he be polite? Will I ever get him to eat by himself instead of feeding him, as happens with most kids until age 5 or 6 here? Am I going against my own traditions and upbringing by adapting to these things that I so strongly disagreed with while I was pregnant and until I was working full time?
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Reading this entry was like listening to my own head. I have all the same concerns for my son. I want him to have the best of both worlds and I am not always sure about how to do that. I too, feel that I have "caved" in to some of the Brazilian child-rearing pratices that I thought I never would when I was pregnant, especially diet. I suppose it does end up being a 3rd culture, a hybrid of US and Brazilian. But it is just that that I think will be of value later on. My mother moved us to Costa Rica when I was in high school, so the move to Brazil was not my first foray into living abroad. I know that living the 3 years in Costa Rica altered my outlook forever and was directly responsable for the steps that led to me now living in Brazil. However, there was little effect on my siblings. So, you never know how it will turn out.
I hear that- _all_ of that. I find it particularly amusing that you mention the feeding thing- my Mom on her way back to the airport told me she thought we shouldn't do that- huh! That's minor compared to the other 'frogs I've had to swallow.' I guess only time will tell which way they get pulled- but I do hope Lucas decides to enjoy some of the good things the US has to offer. And decides to live there, at least for a while.
Ali, I've always admired you as a mom. So young and so self-conscious. Everytime I visited you and Ju I would come home and tell Beto the things I observed and how nice I thought your raising Ju was. Although I am Brazilian, my short one-year-experience living in the US taught me we can be less dependable on our parents and we can be more helpful around the house. I tried to raise Thiago like that. He was the only kid in kindergarten who would dress up by himself and eat by himself. And I was really proud. But Thiago used to help me more with house work. As you know, I don't have a maid, but he was somehow "corrupted" (I guess I can say that) by our Brazilian culture. Especially because he sleeps over his grandama house twice a week and there are more maids there than family! Well, in my opinion Ju is lucky to have a 3rd culture. And a suggestion: take him to Saraiva at Shopping Salvador. They have a space for kids, they can sit down on the floor or at little tables and enjoy reading books! It's not a library but it helps. Love!
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