The way things work out just amaze me some times. Thinking back on it, if I hadn't gotten pregnant with Ju, I probably would have been hired to work before I applied to Pan American, and would never have gotten the opportunity to work in the preschool. And consequently, I would not have been seen as being misplaced and no one would have mentioned my name to fill the position of the high school English teacher that is leaving.

The possibility of it is terribley tempting for me. I started redoing my teaching portfolio, updating my teaching philosophy, and even started brainstorming ideas on class projects. I think I would be really good for this job, having an ESL background, judging from what the former teacher told me. And it would pay more, which is always a good thing. On the other hand, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I will really really miss those kids. They are loud, obnoixious, hard to control, drive you crazy, but man I love working with those ankle biters! I have gotten kinda attatched. No, really, I am attatched. No kinda about it.

So I am just going to assume that so far as the Universe has guided me to where I am, the forces will push me to where it is best for me to be right now. If they find some one else to fill the position in the highschool, well, then I'm happy with my four year olds and being a mom in the evenings. And if I leave one building for another, then I can always visit the students who were shorter than me when I need a break from those who are taller. I cannot doubt the way the energies have pushed me, because they have given me a wonderful husband and a beautiful son.

I'm really starting to sound religious....

I have larangitis. No voice today. Which would make teaching 14 four year olds impossible for the most part, but kinda gives you a perspective on which ones actually respect you. Those who have to come close and try to understand wispered English really do want to be good. Thankfully, most of them did. Most, not all. At least I don't still fell sick on top of it.

I spent some time talking to Alana today, the new middle school science teacher from South Caronlina. She was recounting all the challenges of living and working in Brasil. I remember feeling that way, so frustrated that things just didn't work well, efficiently, or logically. I don't remember when I let go of that feeling (though I can see the evidence of it when I go back and read my blog entries from my move), but I no longer have it. All I could say was "well, that's Brasil..." I mean, it's not a cut on the country or anything, it's just a fact. Things ARE THAT WAY, there is no other way. I think the only reason people here don't get so stressed about it is because they are used to it. That is the way things have worked their whole lives, or not worked, as the case may be. They know no other reality.

There is apparently a couple leaving the school completely, on Sunday. Both adults are teaching in the middle and high school and have had so many problems from the get go, that they just couldn't take it anymore. I had thought only the woman was leaving, having heard something about issues with the nanny and such, so she was going to stay home with the kids. But today I overheard they were both leaving, or rather, the whole family was. I had just sent them both an email, saying if they needed advice or help or just to vent, they could call me, because I had been there and felt like they were feeling etc.... too little too late I guess. I keep trying to call them now on the phone, but it's always busy.

The amount of time you spend waiting for something interesting to happen is in direct ratio with the lack of time you have to type it all out when it finally does. Such is the meaning of life too I'm sure. Maybe that's why no one has figured it out yet and lived to tell the tale.

Over the course of the first weeks of July, I spent over $250 (that's U.S. dollars) on getting Ju registered with the U.S. consulate and getting both his passports. All this in the HOPE that someone or most likely several people will pay for us to fly to the States and visit during Xmas. The amount of documentation one needs to do this was quite impressive. I brought everything from transcripts to photo print outs to birth certificates to ultrasounds... And not to mention filling out 8 or so different forms. Luckily the woman at the consulate is very helpful and nice and tolerant of the insanity I guess. They even let us change a diaper on their counter.

There is always this nice element when you are looking forward to something, especially a trip, that makes it easier to get up in the morning. I'm not sure I should be using it so much yet, since nothing is set in stone, but it certainly helps my getting up at 6AM issues. I might even be able to get up earlier and make some coffee. Yes, that's right, I am back in the habit again. Forces of nature assured it (and the fact that 4 year olds seem to have drunk a whole pot of espresso by the time they get to school at 8AM). Now maybe I can break my chocolate addiction.

Also to look forward to is the arrival of a friend of mine for an extended stay. Slowly, I think all my friends from my Portuguese class at MSU will migrate here and pass through my home. The idea of having a stable place to rest your head in another country is a nice thought. It certainly made my move down here easier. It's also nice that I am able to answer so many questions about the process. All my headaches were not in vain since I can pass the knowledge on to those in need. I feel all helpful and intelligent and stuff. You know, like... stuff...

I wish I had some chai tea...