Instead of constantly lamenting that my friends don't update their blogs as often, I suppose I should actually update mine. Despite having opened a page to write a number of times, I never seem to do it, which I chaulk up to my extreme lack of time. Like now, as I am typing, I actually should be making flash cards that I didn't make last night because I was playing with Ju and doing a translation at the same time. Off to school now.

Oh, and I probably should add that we finally were paid the money by the insurance company and have bought a new car as of Wednesday. Only took a month and a half....

The battle for sleep continues. Unfortunately, daddy is sabotaging all my hard work because he misses his son ( can't blame him ) and goes in there to keep him company while he falls asleep. Now here I am, daddy working late, and Ju is up there, crying alternately for mom or dad. He already knew it was going to happen when I put him in there - as soon as I started reading the goodnight story, he starting crying and throwing a fit. If he keeps it up, he may stay awake until daddy get's home at 11.

Is there like a switch or something? Kids pass the two year mark and suddenly - snap - there are the tantrums, the throwing on the floor, the indecision game playing, the pinching, the finicky eating... It's amazing! Another switch that has been flipped is the "potty peeing" switch, brought on by the interest in wearing a "tecka" (cueca - underwear). No interest in doing the same for coco though. oh well.

News for today: Shout pretreater will take crayon off a wall, but it will also take the paint off the wall.

Truely appreciating Sesame Street comes with a realization that I am old. I can remember how much I looked forward to watching it, singing the theme song, and I'm sure I must have learned something from it along the way. It was my favorite show for years, and then suddenly, I think about the time my parents divorced, I suddenly wasn't into it anymore - I had learned all it had to offer and it became boring. Then came years of boycotting it as a "baby show" because I was so grown up (we all go through this in 3 phases I think - when you're 8-9, when you're 14-18, and then again when you are really and adult but feel like you couldn't possible know everything yet - where I am now; I think you really don't know everything until you are somewhere around 50).

Then there was the revival in highschool, conviniently matched to the release of the "Tickle Me Elmo" toy that was the gift of the Xmas season when I was 16. I remember Elmo back packs, T-shirts, and little fuzzy lunch boxes that we used as purses to carry our makeup that we were too young to really be wearing in public. Actually, now that I think about it, the revival was almost purely Elmo based, a character I was never a big fan of when I as a kid, yet became the "IT" character for my teenaged years. Hmmmm....

It faded into the background again until I had Ju, when suddenly I am watching it again, but in DVD form. Now I get the jokes - the three crows who sing about counting are the "counting crows," "MC Elmo" rapping is a catchy way to learn about the number 5, and I am truely appreciating the clear and subliminal way you count to number 8 with the music (incase you are curious, the current favorite is the "1,2,3 Count with Me" DVD). Part of this comes from working in the preschool for the last 2 years, but I think it mostly comes from the fact that I have to watch this stuff at home all the time, and Jim Henson was really thinking when he made it appeal to parents as well, especially to youngish parents who still like current bands, keep up with music trends, and appreciate dancing. I have the "counting crows" stuck in my head all day.

What's so nice is that I see it has changed little, except for the music styles, over the years - the structure is still the same, a central story with short little related blips of educational material that is related in some way. What's making me feel old is that fact that the characters, not just the muppets, but the actual people who live there like Maria and Gordon, are still there, but older. They are still enthusiastic, smiley, and get the kids excited. It's a little bit like visiting my parents' friends who I remember from when I was a kid, but now I too am an "adult" and can talk to them like another "adult."

I am old, but I am not grown up. I still love kids shows.

Haha, just have to add -

Cleaning n Washing Tips

Make Toilet Bowl Sprinkle

Keep the toilet bowl sprinkling - Mix equal parts baking soda and borax around bowl, add white vinegar, and finally clean with toilet brush. For stubborn stains, leave mixture in overnight. Do you think they did it on purpose....

So on Monday I will start teaching in the ESL as the temporary teacher while the permanent one is on maternity leave. Will this guarantee me a teaching position for next year? I hope so. I also interview for a position on Monday. So I can't sleep lately. I keep having nightmares that I go to the wrong class, forget where I work, and parents are trying to blame me for things.

Just think back and remember you are in control of your life, you are an adult. You probably won't screw up.

April fools days is upon us. Did I notice? Not really.

Have I left the house since Friday? Nope.

Will I do something productive today? Yes, I am actually.

Hooray for weekend #2 with no car.

So, our car has just been stolen. We parked it at 2 right in front of the condo portaria and went out at 9 and it's not there. O Maridão has gone to the special office where you report that your car has been stolen, since obviously when you have no car because it has been stolen it is so efficient to have to go to an office to report it instead of having officers come and take the report. The porteiro is pretty sure it wasn't even there at 5:30 when he got here. The neigherbors across the street whose house we parked it in front of have a camera, but they just happened to turn it off today because of something having to do with TV signal, so no help there. Also, there are security guards in front of the two office/businesses a stone throw's distance away (and with a full view of our car at one of them), but no one saw anything. Even more noteable is that for some reason we brought in many things from the car today, like the car seat that we are borrowing from a former student, and O Maridão's expensive sunglasses that live in the glove compartment usually. And every time I go to type the word "sigh" I keep writing "sign." I wonder what it all means.

Sigh.

So much is going on, I have no time to post. But just a quick Ju word :

pinto = penis, but also "aipim"

He just ate half of my dinner and asked for more "mais pinto?"

I had noticed some time ago that the deaf seem to flock to Bompreço. Every time I go through there, since I was pregnant, I have noticed lots of gestures being used with expressive eyes and faces that leave less to wonder about than one might think. When I first noticed it happening, it was easy to pick out who was deaf and who was not. Two or three people would be engaged in some intense conversation that I had no part of other than blatenly staring at them. Now, all the cashiers and baggers seemed to be well versed and easily communicate without words. It's hard to tell who really has no other way to express themselves. Either the deaf and mute are flocking to Bompreço, or there is some kind of training program going on. Or it could be both. Apparently there are laws requiring the hiring of the handicapped here (just like in the States), and low and behold - they are being followed!

I have come to the conclusion that my lack of posting is not due to my lack of time (although actually turning on the computer and writing something before I fall asleep with Ju could make a difference), nor is it due to my attention being constantly diverted to other habitants of this house. It seems my inspiration to write comes only when I am far away from the computer, or at school, where the computer is even slower than this one (hard to believe, I know!). It's hard for me to feel disaplined enough to sit down and write when I feel like it - there always seems to be something else I'll do online and forget about it. Or worse, I am out somewhere and think "I will write about this today" and then by the time I get home it is only a vague inclination and lacking in all the inspiration that I felt at the time the idea was concieved.

For instance, last weekend was a lunar eclipse. I cannot remember the last time I saw one really, not when I knew that was what I was looking at. I had totally forgotten about it until someone else at the party I was at pointed out that the moon was doing something funny. Then it took us another half hour of observation to convince the rest of the guests that it was in fact an eclipse and not just clouds or phases of the moon. I was so inspired to watch it, but at the same time thinking "well, there will be another one in August, so really, why bother." I tried to recall how we had watched eclipses in the States - I couldn't remember. I imagined everyone would be out on their porches, gazing at the sky, watching in awe in the cold (probably very far from the truth). And then I imagined that people around the world were watching it with us. And then we left the party and driving home I saw that almost no one on the street (and there were a LOT of people out, being a Saturday night and all) seemed even remotely aware of what was going on. No one was looking. Like comming back to reality, by the time we got home, I had forgotten it, and so I wrote nothing.

Ju has become a three word sentence maker. I think I did post that before. He also suddenly has the ability to recognize shapes. He has a turtle-put-the-cups-in-the-same-shaped-holes-toy that I got for him when he turned 1 because he was so into putting things inside of other things. He never figured out that the star shaped cup goes in the star shaped hole, the flower shaped cup going in the flower shaped hole, etc. For half a year he played with this thing off and on. The last time he had it out was in December. Suddenly on Thursday night he asked to play with it and so I got it out. He immediately put all the cups in the correct holes. Just like that. Suddenly he can do it. I almost cried I was so excited.

"não não ah-oo gato" = don't put water on the cat

"pum bapeesh" = I farted on the crayons

Ju has begun to draw lines, very nice strait ones, with his crayons. He has been coloring figures for a while, but now he will hand you a crayon and tell you "gato" if he wants you to draw a cat so he can color it. We made a very nice drawing on Thursday night that I took to school on Friday to show off and display. Like all people with kids, or with new-anything-living (this includes puppies, cats, nieces, nephews...) every new development is an amazing step into the world. Actually, having kids makes you want to do a degree in child development, just so you can compare "yes, he did this, no not this...." etc.

The weather here has taken a turn for the "winter-like" a little early this year. Usually this rain/sun/blow/hot/cold all in the same half hour confusion doesn't start until at least April. I don't mind it unless it keeps the kids inside at school and they turn into loud little bouncey monsters because of lack of running space. Also, Ju is watching an absurd amount of TV because I can't take him for a long walk in the rain. His obsession has moved from "Cars" to "The Lion King," until yesterday when I brought home a DVD of "Bear in the Big Blue House" about potty training (innate messages can't hurt, right?) that he seems to be enjoying quite a bit. He likes to watch things that he can identify and say the names of the animals or objects - there is a "mah-oosh"(mouse), a "moon," and he seems to enjoy the shadow puppet part. Even now he is trying to call my attention from the computer to watch the beginning part where the bear sniffs you. So cute.

Adjectives! Today Ju said "bih mesh" - BIG MESS!

My first year of Carnaval I was 7 months pregnant, so I didn't get to do much. My second year, I was breast feeding, so I didn't do much either. This year I finally went out and did the pipoca thing, and then went to a camarote (which we got for free). We went to Farol da Barra, which only after we returned did my husband inform me is one of the most "dangerous" places to go in the pipoca, walking from shopping Barra all the way there.

My first impression was how bad it smelled. There was the highly potent smell of xixi everywhere, along with sweat, B.O., and garbage smells, and the over powering exhaust from the Trios which gave me a headache all of yesterday. We parked illegally outside of Shopping Barra, where the guarda carro simpley moved the SETE cone down the street a few feet to make room for our car, insisting that if there was no cone, there was no problem (this only works in Brasil). He then insisted on being paid R$10 for the service of moving the cone. We gave him R$5 with the understanding that if "SETE gets us, we will find you."

On the way to the main circut, we walked down a back road where some guy had set up a large speaker and microphone, and whilst painting a large picture to illustrate his points with blacklight paint, was lecturing about Jesus and savoirs and the family love and who knows what else. I was mostly amused by the use of the black light and paint. There were also numerous churrascos going on - who knows what that meat is....

Out on the main circut, we walked through the crowds, dancing as the blocos came by. I don't have cheap tennis shoes, so I just wore some strap on sandals and right off the back my toe was wounded from a passing sharp object which might have been a shoe or might have been a beer can, we'll never know. It would have been worth it to buy some new tennies just to cover my feet to keep all the nastyness of the street from being splattered on my poor feet (the sandals are still in the slop sink next to the washer and will remain there until I can soak them in disinfectant). We had quite a walk ahead of us, through the masses of sweaty smelly people. There were numerous fights (people start them in the crowds to take your guard down so they can rob you) but we some how managed to not get caught in them (but just barely). I quickly learned to deal with the "ickeyness" when squished up against fellow partiers because of a passing bloco or a fight. Somewhere along the way, a couple with the same camarote shirts found us and asked us if they could walk with us to not be alone on the way to the building, which I thought was kind of paranoid and funny (until after when O Maridão mentioned that he had not gone to the Farol in many years because of the danger factor), but we quickly lost them during one of the fights.

On the way down, we passed several blocos without trios, mostly for men it seems. One was called "the towels" and all the members (men) wore pink towels and shower caps. Another was called "the pajamas" where all the members (all men, again) wore white and blue striped pajamas and night caps, some carrying teddy bears, and allowing only women who they seemed to think were attractive inside their ropes with them. It was quite amuzing to see.

We were on the hunt for Gilberto Gil's bloco (Expresso 2222 or something like that), where we were to try to find one of our friends who said she would be following it. Within the madness, we accidently found a different group of our friends, a collegue from my husband's work, and the uncle of his namordada from when he was 15, all following 2222. We walked with them for a while, but I was starting to get sick from being so close to the exhaust pipe, and everytime the truck would stop, the crowd kept moving forward and we would always end up right next to it, burning my legs and feet. My ears were really starting to hurt from being so close to the speakers when we finally decided to go up into the camarote (Camarote Oceania) which was right across from the light house.

The camarote was much more controlled. There was a live band with Marcos... de dois>? Can't quite remember his name. And some woman that we didn't know the name of but who reminded me a bit of Lauren Hill, mostly a rock/rap kind of genra. Apparently this was the camarote of the rich, all drinks and everything included, and there was body painting, hair braiding, Haagen Das Ice cream (!!!), champagne... Also, I swear I was the shortest one there. Rich people are tall here, I have noticed this at school too - all the woman are much much taller than me, so much that I almost feel like I'm back in the States. Decendents of immigrants, so I have been told. We drank red bull and whiskey (vire fan!) and watched the blocos for only a little while. Because of all the lights, there was a huge population of gigantic moths (like bigger than my hand) on the outside of the building, and they kept comming inside and flying around over the band. After the band finished, there was some typical rap music which slowly turned into techno (have you noticed this always happens at parties - people are so drunk by that time they don't even listen to the music anymore, just the beat and keep going and going like energizer bunnies). By the time we left to walk back to the car, there were only a couple hundred left in the streets, some people cleaning up trash, and a random vendor or two trying to sell their last couple of geladas for the evening.

One interesting thing I noted was that in the midst of all that mess and all those people from all over the city, we found one of the women who hangs out on the corner near our house (right near where I was robbed) collecting cans. She is the mother of Diva, who I have mentioned before I believe. She told us Diva was out there somewhere, running around with her friends. Small world. No matter where you go in this city, you always see familiar people. Only in Bahia...

To see the view of where we were, check out this link. To choose another view of the circut, click here.

Ju has started doing what appears to be make-believe types of play - biting his crackers into car shapes and then driving them around his high chair tray, and making finger puppets talk to each other (in Ju-language) during his bathtime. Of course, it's hard to tell what's going on in his head while he does this, but it appears to be a fantasy play type of thing.

boon = balloon (I think this was my word for it too when I was little).

Carnaval has officially begun here Bahia. Actually, it officially begins on Wednesday, and the insanity of traffic around the city has shown it. If one tries to pass by AeroClub, you have to contend with "unofficial" abadá sellers, who are rumoured to steal back the black market shirts they just sold you as you walk back to your car or home or bus stop as the case may be. There a long lines of people selling beer along the Orla where there was no beer before. There are confettie, streamers, and carnaval masks litering the ground and decorating homes and stores. And there is the rain. The ever present rain, which according to the forecast, will be here all the way through the week long insanity, soaking everything, turning the confettie into paper-machê muck all over, mixed with xixi and god knows what else. Not that I was going to go out in it before, but I certainly don't plan to now. Some year I will really experience Carnaval, but it seems this year is out.

"soo-vah" = chuva = rain

"boh-d" = bird

I have begun walking home from work twice a week with a couple of friends. I can get to my door in about 2 hours walking, and about 1 hour and 45 minutes if I jog a bit in the last stretch. It's hot, sweaty, and salty, but definately enjoyable and I feel much better now that I am definatetively doing something to get my body back, almost two years after Ju was born. We have noticed some of the same people at the same points in the route, also walking to one place or another. We chat about work and being married/in relationships and how alchohol is essencial in the kitchen. Real girl stuff I guess, something I had missed without realizing I was missing it. It also is helping me get over my fear of walking around by myself (although it is much easier since I have nothing on me that would make me a target, except if someone decided they wanted to steal my shoes), making me less of a reculse in the afternoons.

teesh - teeth

I forgot to add

ah-tah-tee - chocolate (pronounced in portuguese)

tee tee - leite = milk (the powdered kind) to be eaten by the spoonful and in no other form

eh-peh-een = airplane : just repeated this morning

oh-pee = open

Ju has been testing his limits these days and is learning about "time-out," which seems to be very effective in some cases, but not so much when he can't quite make the connection that what he did was not allowed or not. Most of these cases are with regard to things he has not been punished for doing before - not putting away crayons, not staying out of the kitchen, running around with food in his hands, etc. With things like turning on the computer when told not to, playing with the television buttons when told not to, and wiggling on the lap, it has been pretty effective. Half the time O Maridão thinks I am being too harsh, and Ju knows this and calls "papai" when he doesn't get what he wants from "mamãe." I see it as his training so he's not one of those problem kids in preschool (I have so many).

Transportation Dictionary by Ju

cah-oh = carro

tu-gu-da = pickup truck/delivery truck (from "agua e gas chegou")

bah-eekee = motorcycle

tah-too = tractor

ao-ão = avião

tuh-ka-tuh-ka = helicopter (from the "sound" we make for the propellers spinning)

"bee bee" - baby (said earlier today in reference to my fat gut; he seems to think there is a baby in there)

About a week ago Ju was "baptized" as Bahian, or so it has been called:

We spent the afternoon at Porto da Barra with some friends and decided to stop by Dinha for an Acarjé and a beer on the way home. It was a rather large group of us, five adults and four kids of various ages, so we sat on the outer ring of tables and got several plates of Acarajé, Abará, Vatapá, and camarão to split amongst us. Along with the quantity of food came a small plastic cup (think Jell-O shooters) of "pimenta" or very strong pepper sauce. I have never tasted this stuff (for food allergy reasons, for those of you who don't know), but every Bahian claims it is the hottest hot sauce that exists, that eating it proves your manhood, and all sorts of related claims.

O Maridão was nice enough to take the Dinha shift as the Ju lap, so I was able to relax a bit while eating. Ju ate boiled peanuts and raw tomato from the Acarajé plates and seemed quite satisfied with his food. As a habit, he always wants to grab and examine everything on the table, including beer bottles, trash, peanut shells, etc, and I saw that he was eyeing the small plastic cup, but he didn't reach for it.

After about an hour, I decided it was time to pee. I got up and informed the table and then debated with O Maridão as to which bar I should do the honor of peeing in. Ju seized this opportunity to investigate the cup, and although I caught him in mid swallow, the damage was done. He screamed bloody murder and all the surrounding tables turned our way, most immediately realizing what had happened and yelling suggestions like "make him drink water!" which we were already trying to force him to do. We managed to get water in and out of his mouth to wash it out a couple of times, but then he refused to open it (I suppose because water doesn't actually help this sort of thing, but rather acts in moving the offending oils around the mouth and actually making it worse - but try telling that to any one around here...). Normally a piece of bread or a glass or milk would be ideal in this case, but there was none to be had in the middle of a bunch of outdoor bars.

Then came the suggestion to get a cup of sugar and feed it to him. Ju resisted at first, until I managed to force a fingerfull into his pursed lips, and then immediately fell silent, allowing me to finger feed him most of the cup until he took over and ate ever last grain. He would have been a good ant target by the time we left, but he seemed to have recovered okay. That is until we tried to take the little cup of sugar out of his hands.

So let this be a lesson to you all. Of what, I just don't know right now. I have had enough trouble getting him to eat right this entire break, made worse by irregular schedules and vacationing nanny, now we have introduced little cups of sugar into the mix as the "cure" for something. At least he still eats pure wheatgerm...

Tan = fan

Bah-ee-kee = bike or motorcycle

Today he also kept saying "teem" which I think was in reference to "building" but I can't be sure, as he hasn't used it in other contexts.

Mah-oof = mouth - this is in reference to tongue actually, and I only made this connection when he referred to the "licky" emoticon as "mah-oof." He also calls the "evil" emoticon gato, I think because it has "ears."

Dah-it-ee = light

Meh-eesh = mess

Now we have a real sentence - "mee mee, assee cah-o" = "filme, assistir carros" - movie, watch cars. So cute.

Pah pah-o = "chapéu" - hat

Puhm = plumb (did I post this already?)

ahm = food, something to eat - not sure, but I think this is in relation to the noise I make when I want him to take a bite of something.

(and thanks to Rio for pointing out the mistakes)

Just after Xmas, two huge boxes of my things I left to be mailed to me over two years ago arrived. The delay here is for various reasons, but mostly due to my inability to accomplish things I meant to and leaving them for others to take care of. Anyway, so finally, most of my things are here, and this house is actually looking like me - lots of little nick nacks about, pictures, books....

In the last two and a half years I have lived here, various books have been sent to me, due to my plea for English reading material. O Maridão was always aggravated by the contiuous entrance of new dust collecting material, since I would usually plow through the book in about 2-3 days and then it would sit on a shelf in case I wanted to read it again. With this new box arrival, I finally decided to remove the books I have read to be donated to the Pan Am library. This is about 100 books of various sizes. A great wieght has been removed from our selves. But only to be replaced with more.

A great bulk of the weight in the new boxes was the books I moved about with me throughout college- many of them required readings for classes I took and were the $10-$20 novel or small paper back book that I would never get more than $1.50 back for returning, so I never bothered to do so. Most of them I never really read, yet managed to pass the classes anyway (what does that say?).

So now I am settling down to read them, actually read and digest them, trying to remember what it was they were supposed to teach me. At the time I was supposed to have done this, I was never able to stay awake or pay attention to the words on the page. I had attributed this to the lack of sleep, going out and partying, immense pressure kind of problem that happens to all of us during college. But I am finding that when I open them and begin, the same thing is happening - read a page and ... wait a minute, what did I just read? Incredibley boring, page long rants about German-ness, individual histories with the author, why he/she is important for history to recognize.... What was the point of that? It's gotten so bad that I am simultaneously reading three different books right now, and I cannot really remember what is in any of them...

So really what it comes down to is - why do they pick such horrible boring things for us to read in college? I mean, there must be something out there that is both entertaining and educational at the same time. They do it all the time for kids, look at Sesemae Steet, and really any program on PBS. Experts wonder why my generation doesn't read more now adays, blaming it on television and the internet etc, but I think what it really comes down to is that the only reading we have time for for several years is the most dry and horrible stuff you can imagine. And now out of some guilty feeling of having gotten credit for a class I never did the work for, I am trying to figure out why they felt this is worthwhile. Is it possible anyone enjoys these books anymore with so many more interesting things to read? I know the classics have got their place, but they were classics because they were so interesting at the time, so different, such a great message, daring etc... Surely there must be some way to update this curriculum....

Ju is officially making two word sentences. The first one is "pum de papai" - "fart (of) daddy" or daddy's fart. You can see the kind of encouragement he gets at home; must be a family trait.

Mee-ão : Camião = truck

Ju is making more and more associations. When he watches his car movie, he plays with his cars. When he watches "Fly away home" he plays with his penguin.

ee-ais : rice (sounds kind of like "yes" when he says it)

New Ju developments:

Ju has some kind of mania with pink/peach crayons. Every time he gets the crayons out, he finds all the pieces of them and carries them around with him. It's only that particular color. Very strange.

There is apparently a large influx of ghosts in this apartment. Ju says "taow taow" and waves bye bye to no-see-ums about 10 times a day. No idea who they are.

During his daily "Cars" watch, he imitates different sounds and repeats "no, no" when ever the characters say "no."

When you remove a wet diaper, he says "shee shee" and makes a "it stinks" sound and waves his hand in front of his face. He also does this action for a poopy diaper.

Ju thinks farts are really funny. If he hears a fart or makes one himself, he will come and tell me "mamãe, PUM!" and laugh about it.

Tan: crayon

bahee-kee : bike

Ah-oh: Hello (when the phone rings)

Ju is imitating words left and right. Consistently he seems to be following the Brasilian English tendency to add "ee" on the end of "k" sounds (bikey, cakey).

And so another year comes to an end. And to celebrate it, we will leave the city and party all night at a rented house on the beach where some friends of ours are staying. We always travel on holidays in this country it seems. For the life of of me, I cannot remember if we did this in the States. Usually New Years was spent at a friend's house, somewhere close by, or at home, and everyone would drink, have a designated driver home, and sleep it off starting at about 3AM, right?

I spent my last New Years before moving here in NYC's Time Square, just so I could say I did it (froze my ass off standing so far away you could hardly see the ball, for 6 hours in one place, with no way to get out or pee or eat or anything - no drinking either: this is what 9/11 accomplished for us). Last year when we traveled there again to visit, we spent our first New Years as a family in the NYC subway, somewhere in Harlem, trying to visit a friend's party by 12AM.

But for every holiday here, the question is usually "where?" as in another city instead of "what?" as in activity. For São João (in June) we travel to the country side and act likes hicks, drinking and dancing in the main square of some city we would never be in otherwise, and usually where we don't really know a soul who lives there. For minor holidays one might travel to a resort type of area - Guarajuba or Praia do Forte, and spend the weekend. We never want to stay home it seems, enjoy our our surroundings we work so hard to preserve.

Or maybe it's to further avoid cleaning and looking at the mess we have created while the maid is on vacation.

Tuh-oh = turtle. Ju has several small plastic turtles we take to the pool as swimming goals. When he finds one he picks it up and tells us it's a tuh-oh.

Mee-mee = movie/ filme. Usually only one in particular...

Boys and cars....

One of the first things Ju was able to name besides us and the cats was CAR. Cah-oh. Carro.

About a month ago my father sent the movie "Cars." I hadn't actually heard of it before, although products based on it have been flooding my preschool classroom since October. Ju has always be into cars, seems to be a genetic predisposition. He never had any cars really, nothing with wheels, until his nanny told me he liked very much to play with a car-like toy that belongs to his friend Mari, so we went out and bought him one of his own. For months it was almost the only thing he would play with, pushing it around in front of him as he crawled (when he was about 10 months or so).

For his first birthday, one of my good friends gave him a hotwheels she found in her house (she has two grown boys). It was an instant addiction. He would empty a whole box of little toys just to get out the hotwheels and play with it, stand next to the foot stool and "drive" it on the top. It was one of the few toys I took to the States and back, tied to a piece of BomFim tape to save my self from chasing around the floor of the plane when he threw it into the air. While State's side, he acquired a number of new toys, the favorites all having wheels (or related - one of the most popular toys I found for him was a V-tech Baby Driver steering wheel from the 80's).

When we returned, I was "forced" to buy him another hotwheels on two occations that I was out shopping and had to get something to appease him in the cart. Each time he chose orange ones. His father got him large plastic shiny trucks for Children's day presents, and my mother in law sent a Tonka tow truck that I tried to save for Xmas, but he found it and dragged it around in the box until it was liberated.

Now with the arrival of this movie, the obsession is getting worse. Every morning he asks for his "mee-mee cah-oh." And he will proceed to sit down and watch it almost without interruption. It is quite amazing, considering television never interested him for more than 10 minutes until now. While watching he gets all his hotwheels out (Santa filled his stocking with them this year - a motorcycle that is by far the favorite, another orange car that he chose, a bulldozer, a helicopter, and a by-plane) and drives them around, or just holds them in his hands, watching in awe. It's cute and disturbing at the same time.

Is it genetic? Does having a pinto automatically destine you to become obsessed with all things that have wheels? What is the deal? I am pretty sure I didn't foster this based on society stereotypes, so what is it?

Wooooooooo......

Can you tell I am on vacation? Today, so far, I have showered and eaten. I am so productive!

Boo-beh-eez - Blueberries! Ju's favorite fruit (the dried version sent from the states, which is all we can get down here).

A correction on "mah-mão" - lava mão = wash hands, but also means soap in general.

Bah-ee - bike/trike

Tah -o : Towel

He is really trying to talk to me, but it all just sounds like Japanese right now. Except, of course, for the words in the dictionary listed here.

Ju is exploding in vocabulary. He likes to say/imitate all words that end in "ees" - keys, peas.... He also says "juush" when he wants juice. I know what is comming now, just like all big steps: you wait so long for them to talk and then you wish they would shut up.

Bap-pish: Lapiz = crayon. And the crowning achievement with this new word was that when I came home and he said it and I didn't understand and I told him I didn't, he went and got the crayons and showed me what he meant. So smart.

Additional Ju words:

Ow: agua = water in any form, puddle, pool, drinkable or otherwise

Boo-bay: Blueberry - a favorite dry fruit sent by kind grandparents in the States.

He seems to go in and out of wanting to imitate words and not. Some days he says things like "tattoo" but other days he just stares at me. Today he said boo-bay.

Besides saying "gato, Neta, papai, mamãe, mommy, pé, rua" Ju is producing a lot more language than previously understood.

A dictionary of understanding Ju:

OOOOOO-vah: Uva = grape

Ah-poo: apple or any white fruit that you have to cut up (this includes pears) - you'll notice this is the only word besides boob that he uses English

Boo: Boob/ I want a boob to suck on

Too-tah: Ducha = shower and also "I am ready for a nap" since he takes a shower before sleeping

Oh-ão: Avião = airplane or anything else in the sky

Mah-mão: Lava mão = wash my hands/ my hands are dirty/ I want a napkin to wipe my hands

Toh-toh: (I think) cocó = poop/ my diaper is dirty/ I want to take off my diaper

Pehshhhhh: Peixe = fish

Cah-o: Carro = car or anything with wheels

Pah-pah-poo: pato = duck

Pah-pah-too: Sapato = shoe or sandle or anything that goes on your feet

Oof: Lixo = something that goes in the trash, like a peice of paper or lint

Also to be noted: all finger puppets say "tchucka tchucka tchucka" for some reason. And "tugudah tugudah" may mean "agua e gas chegou" or it just might mean "truck."

It seems he has figured out I speak Portuguese, and everyone else is speaking Portuguese, so there is no real need for him to say things in English, since English is something that one person will understand versus the other 10 or so important people in his life, so Portuguese seems to be the way to go.

I can almost feel the year ending, already! All I want to do is put up Xmas decorations. No snow or wood smoke smell to put me in the mood - I wish this stuff wasn't so damn expensive here!

Thanks to Nads for sending me this - this is as Thanksgiving as I can get today.

The Turkey Shot Out of the Oven

The turkey shot out of the oven
and rocketed into the air,
it knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner
and burst with deafening boom,
then splattered all over the kitchen,
completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows,
it totally coated the floor,
there was turkey attached to the ceiling,
where there'd never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance,
it smeared every saucer and bowl,
there wasn't a way I could stop it,
that turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,
and thought with chagrin as I mopped,
that I'd never again stuff a turkey
with popcorn that hadn't been popped!

It is with regret that I inform my readers that it seems the bat bicho has passed on. Actually, we don't know the real fate, but I suspect as much. One of the 7th graders adopted it as a pet for the weekend. She said it was eating and moving around, but then suddenly stopped moving and so she "let it go" - which is why, I guess, you can't always trust students to know what to do.

Oh yeah, I forgot to add, today Ju said "tattoo."

Today there were many creatures at school. Just before lunch, I found an enormouse grasshopper with a bright red read end haning out on the front steps of school. Being the ever loving to share nature person, I decided it would be a good idea to coax it up onto my hand and take it to show the first grade. The kids were totally enthralled when I brought it in, and it started climbing around on my hand, sensing the interest. Suddenly, it thought it would be a good idea to fly, but it apparently was so big, it wasn't very good at it. What it ended up doing was flapping into some poor girl's face who was squished up to the front of the crowd around me. The class erupted into screams and kids ran everywhere, crawling under tables, hiding under pillows... It couldn't quite clear her head, so it gave up and went to the floor, and eventually to someone's back pack, where I was able to rescue it. This girl must be so traumatized, she was sitting in the reading area, panting and fanning herself when I left to put the offending insect back outside. I am sure this was the talk of the dinner table of all involved.

And if that wasn't enough, I am just walking casually through the courtyard by the canteen just a little over an hour later, and BLOOP, a black thing comes plopping down beside me. Not that I would pay it much heed, with all the rain and leaks and what not, but it occured to me that rain isn't black, so I took a closer look and see the black thing is now crawling across the ground towards me - a baby bat! The hallway was totally empty, but I didn't want to let him out of my site for a moment, for fear someone would step on him, so I got a plastic cup from the classroom beside me and stuck it on the ground in front of me. He aimlessly crawled into the cup. Okay, mission accomplished, now what? In Michigan, I am sure I could take care of this bat, no problem, but this is a Brasilian bat so some how I am culturally inept. Next best thing - take it to the science teacher! So I walked it down to Alanna's classroom, where the students are instantly enthralled and volunteer to go get fruit to feed it from the canteen. So now the middle school science class has a pet. I hope it makes it through the night.

Let's see what kind of bicho arrives tomorow!

1. No power = no running water = no flushing toilets = smelly unsanitary bathrooms = no handwashing = all children using one or two working bathrooms in other parts of the school = many young children with accidents on the long walk to said bathrooms SHOULD = school closes

2. No power = no refrigerator = no cold juice or preserved snacks = no food for kids to eat at snack time = cafeteria has no power to cook or refrigerate either (but luckily has gas), nor water to wash dishes = hungry kids SHOULD = school closes

3. Rain pouring down on the streets = chaotic lakes and rivers = areas with knee deep pools of water over the entire road and sidewalk = broken down cars = traffic jams = kids can't get to school unless then spend 2 hours in the car or more SHOULD = school closes

4. Rain pouring down in favelas = mud slide = hundreds of people left homeless or killed = protests on one of the two main roads through Salvador = traffic jams = kids don't make it to school or parents can't pick them up SHOULD = school closes

Now, I arrived at school at 7:20ish. The power went out before 8 AM. We were only in the first set of logical paths (number 1). Then some kids arrive, then some more. We have to combine the two sections of the class because one room is so dark that you can't see your hand in front of you. The kids are fascinated at the open door (open so we don't roast in the classroom with no AC), watching and waiting for the ankle deep lake forming outside to creep into the classroom. The high and mighty director comes in, says if there is no power by 9 AM, we can call it a "snow day" and send the kids home. Various parents are in the room, we pass on this information, so they stick around, having no way to leave anyway because rain is causing traffic jams all over. Frustrated with the noise level, I take the kids on a tour to see the disaster of water around the school including a huge water fall out the front gate. The parents follow. We see utter chaos all over because of the water flow.

Now 9 AM, the parents waiting around take their kids and leave. We are left with about half with both our classes combined. We visit the caf to make sure snack is available. A small group goes in search of the director, who is no where to be found. The principal tells us we are to wait until 9:30, when the situation will be reevaluated. So we wait some more. Eventually the director is found. Director says "I never said if there was no power by 9 AM that the kids would be dismissed." Teachers argue "yes, you did say that" while some stand dumb founded at the blatant lie. Could the director actually be lieing to our faces? Yes (although for most, this is not news).

Parents who tried to leave but got stuck and have come back to wander around the school waiting for some kind of decision. I tell a few that there is no water, no refrigeration, and the caf can't really cook like this, so it would make sense for them to take their kids home. Teachers are unable to get students to focus because parents are there asking questions, it is unbelievably hot in the classrooms, and water threatening to flood your class is just too exciting to ignore. We eat snack with the kids and I spend some time building a large city out of blocks with them.

Finally, word comes down that school will official be dismissed at 11:30 due to black out and rain. It is 10:30 at the time. We have now been without power for almost 3 hours. We are told they don't know when it will be back on, but that we can stay for lunch and take the vans home after. Now we have to call all the parents to inform them that school is dismissed. But, oh, yeah, did I forget to mention that the phones don't work when there is no power here? After we exhaust all the cell phone batteries, we have reached all the parents, and finally it seems we can leave.

But, oh, did you hear? There was a huge mud slide in a favela next to Parallela. Hundreds lost their homes. Huge protests on the road, fires, rocks, the works! So, Parallela is closed. So all the traffic (all 5 lanes in each direction) is now on Orla (the only other street one can take to get anywhere in this city), so traffic is not moving there either. Well, after all, it would have been a normal work day otherwise... Not that I can get any work done without a computer to type, look things up, or lights to read. But that's beside the point really. Because it all comes down to who the boss is that can make or not make a decision (usually the latter).

I pity the next school who takes this director on.

Oh, and did I mention, maybe we still won't have power tomorow? So I assume, when we show up, if we don't, it will probably be until at least 10 AM before they make the decision to send everyone home again. Don't you just love school politics?

A new Ju video, by request.

So often now the crime here seems to be hitting closer to home for me. More and more of my friends have been held up in places I pass daily, doing things they do daily, in broad daylight with witnesses. In terms of psychological well-being, I think a feeling of safety is like the second thing on the pyramid. No wonder it has such an affect on people day to day.

There is an artistan fair that happens twice a month here, one I go to nearly every time it occurs, talking to the same vendors, looking at the same things. O Maridão isn't all that fond of it, but it has become sort of a social event for me, so he goes with just to humor me it seems. There are some sisters who make and sell dresses, and their origial classic style was a simpletiee dyed rayon sun dress - the kind you find in nearly all Latin American countries, popular as a keep-sake of the tropical memories for nearly every girl who hastraveledd through them. I have one from Mexico with a fish on it, and I have passed by them many times here thinking "I live here, so why bother." For some reason, these appealed to me at the time and so I have bought several over the course of the fairs, in various colors and styles - skirts and dresses, all with thistiee-dye pattern that seems to have died in popularity for everyone but me.

Having bought so many things from them, I decided to bring a few skirts to them to see if they could be copied so I could have more of them. Every fair I tell these women - Oh, yes, I forgot again. Fatefully, I remembered yesterday, and took two of them with me to leave on loan so they could make a pattern. The the midst of my explaining the merits of the designs, a loud screaming erupts and I turn to see ascragglyy looking woman being man-handled by two guys in security shirts who arewrestlingg a bag out of her hands, while trying to keep a hold on her arm. She is jumping and screaming and struggling and I am sort of reminded of agazellel, with all the air she is catching in her fight. Turns out she had just stolen two dresses from the table (one I was looking at seconds ago and am currently wearing), and these guys had been following her through the whole fair, knowing what was on her mind, waiting to catch her in the act.

Now, besides the fact that I was the one who had distracted these poor women who were almost stolen from with my unnecessarily lengthy explanation about the skirts, this whole disruption was literally in front of my feet, and Ju's feet, being that he was strapped in the stroller. Instead of backing up, or doing something, I just stand there dumb founded. No reaction. I seem to remain separated, unaware, unable to do anything useful.

After the fact, again, I feel thatweirdd sort of dirty feeling that I had after my cellphone was stolen. I couldn't sleep well and woke up at 3 AM to check that all the windows were locked and doors were shut and that nothing was amiss. Seeing that this happens all the time here, I know I should just get used to it, right? Brasilians live with this their whole lives and still want to return here if they happen to move to another country, despite this psychological pyramid safety thing. What is the secret? I wish I could figure it out.

We have a victory here in Brasil today. Lula, the worker's party (PT) candidate, has been reelected as president. Despite corruption in the party, the right choice has been made. A similar challege is happening in the U.S.A., where everyone can make a difference. The problem is, in the States, we are not required to vote. Here in Brasil it's the law. Help make the turn out in the U.S.A. voluntarily the same. Click below for more info!

I am not one to gossip, however....

Since the beginning of the year, I get the feeling that our school is one giant window and the glass is slowly cracking from one little fracture, one little rock that hit, who this rock is, I will not reveal. Maybe it's more than one, I will give the rock some credit.

Since the duplo of teachers broke their contract and left in September of last year, I have spoken much more with the foreign hired teachers, just to get a perspective. There is so much of this "they get" and "we don't get" feeling that these dialogues are sort of difficult. Yet it seems even after the lessons of last year, nothing has really been done to resolve the abandonment issues the school seems to have.

Reports have told me that teachers come here without full paper work, or even a clear contract by the school, with promises of luxery and live it up on the beach life. What they get is an apartment that needs painting, with only one working toilet for the whole family (when there are 3 bathrooms), no advice about life in Brasil, and no help dealing with culture and language barriers. One teacher had a $2000 phone bill, due to long distance rates and the way that the phone company counts the "pulses" in a call. Had someone told her some of this common knowledge, or even just given a small booklet, outlining some "differences" between say, the States and Brasil, this probably could have been avoided. Now she is working virtually for free, having the money from her paycheck withdrawn to pay for one month of calls. Shortly after this shock, the electricity was shut off at their house. Why? Well, because they didn't know where to go to pay the bill and no one bothered to tell them how bill paying works here. When inquiring at the school, the explanation was "oh, yeah, we have someone who will take care of that for you, we just forgot about it."

Another teacher is reportedly so pissed off at the school that she decided not to go to work on Friday. Since her phone wasn't working (she has been trying to get the school to help her fix the phone since she moved here in July), she just didn't bother to call and tell anyone that she wouldn't be showing up. Since no one could get a hold of her by phone, they had to personally go looking for her at her apartment on Saturday. I cannot imagine what might have been said.

This year the school implemented a buddy system, pairing a veteran teacher with a new one, to try to coushine the fall I think. It isn't entirely clear if this was a school decision, or it was an initiative of the veteran teachers. So far, it doesn't seem to be very effective, considering we are still having these problems. I went and spent the day with a friend/new teacher (who is not my assigned buddy, by the way) and heard all these horror stories, how awful the culture shock has been, and how abandonded by the school they feel. It was a lovely day and I think we are both the better for it. From what I understand, this is not at all typical of international schools (one of these new teachers has taught in 15 different countries). So the question remains, why does it happen here? Year after year. After loosing two teachers for exactly these reasons and I am hearing now. It's like de ja vú. And the crack just keeps getting bigger.

Ju started drawing circles today. But only with the left hand. So is he left handed?

New developments in the land of Ju-

He says "appooo" for apple, but he also says it for sapo, which is frog in Portuguese. I hope he doesn't get them confused.

When he wants me to do something, he will pinch my leg or pull my clothing in an attempt to get me to obey. If that doesn't work, he sits on the floor and screams.

He is a moncheechee doll when he doesn't want you to put him down; I can now let go and he hangs with no help from mom.

He runs around the house saying "nahnoh nahnoh" and waggeling his finger in the air (guess what word he hears a lot these days).

He loves to have a "job" like move all the shoes from one side of the room to the other, water the plants, or clean up the crayons. It's only a matter of time before I make him sweep the floor (that's why we have children, to do the everyday chores for us).

How much money would convince you to renounce a political post? Do you think it would make a joke of your profession or gender? Anyone who was here in May of 2004 may remember the plethora of political banners that dotted the city. I distinctly remember one of a bleached blonde who seemed to be naked in the shoulders-up-photo, whose slogan was something like "everything for sport." Her name was/is Milena (not sure about spelling) and I have Googled all kinds of things trying to find a photo of her to post here, but to no success. At the time I first saw her banners, I could not believe that it was seriously a political campaign, or that anyone would take her seriously as a politician. The pictures clearly sold sex, in my opinion, and although that is not uncommon here, I couldn't believe it was THAT accepted that one would seriously use it as a political strategy, feminist ideals aside. If she got votes, seriously, what were these people thinking.

On the back of a bus yesterday, I saw a no-longer-shocking picture of a woman apparently nude, the focus of the camera on her face, but passing over her sultry arched up rear end, with some extremely small text printed underneath. I didn't think much of it at that precise moment - being here kind of desensitizes you to this kind of display. Consequently, a Brasilian friend who also happened to see it started to chat about the text which I had so quickly dismissed, something to the effect of "I renouced my political post to pose nude." Oh really, and wouldn't you know, it's Milena ass I was so passively staring at! I guess she sure as hell sold some image of herself during that campaign, I mean, to go from would-be politician to nude model in a famous magazine in less than two years, that has to count for something! And just in case we were confused, or wanted to make lewd comments about the fact that she seems to think it's not at all strange to run for political office and then pose nude, well she is publicly renouncing it on the back of a city bus! That's public relations for you.

I cannot actually see this seriously happening in the States, but I could be wrong. What's worse, a semi-sex scandal such as this wrapped up in politics, or the government lying to and spying on it's citizens? Hmmmmm....

Here we go, a nice photo. Apparently she is even younger than me....

If you want to read more about it in Portuguese check this out.

Repost

Politics. I used to live for Politics. Maybe that's because I was force fed Public Radio when I was a kid, rollerskating in the basement of the Natural Science building at MSU while my mother sorted dead insects in alcohol, deep in a lab full of large aquariums of fish, with the radio as our only vocal company. Little did I know I would mirror this almost to a T less than 7 years later, except my bugs would be rotting on sticky traps and my lab had no nice windows, being in the middle of the building, well below the ground, and severely lacking in fish. Maybe it's because I came of age at a time that was not major election year, but was given my first chance to vote for president when Nader was my choice, and all the controversy that followed wasn't my fault because I wasn't a resident of Florida. Maybe it's because in college we all try to stretch our political wings and become disillusioned with our own independence, thinking we can actually change the world, participating in rallies, painting the rock, writing things in chalk in the middle of the night.

When I first moved here, I couldn't live without NPR. I logged onto the internet nearly every single night, using our free dialup between 12am and 6am when the phone rates were cheaper, only to be frustrated by the unbelievably slow connection and the choppy feed. After Velox (AV) I used to log on and listen to "wait wait don't tell me" every Sunday while I expressed breast milk for Ju to have the next day when I went back to work. Even with my pathetic laptop speakers, it was better than being in the dark. I read Google news everyday, I followed common stories and read several versions just to get the facts strait from the leaning of the author, whether left or right.

And then suddenly, I just didn't care anymore, or something, because by the time I knew what happened in New Orleans, it had been happening for almost a week and been the talk of the country for just as long. Somehow, being a mother perhaps, I have become more and more indifferent, since I can't do anything specifically, and I have more central things to worry about, more significant things that cry when he's tired and tries to eat crayons if I don't watch him, and who really is affected by every decision I make.

Maybe that is why when it comes to Brasilian politics, which I should care about, which have consumed so many conversations of my friends, I am in the dark and not so bothered by it. If I were a voting citizen, sure I would have to pay attention. But as it stands, I cannot have any affect on what happens, and the need to know and understand is heavily shadowed by the immense stress and difficulty of reading/hearing/watching it all in Portuguese. By the time I have looked up one word I missed, the news report is finished, or I have forgotten what the main point of the article was, and then my indifference seems more justified. Why waste my time doing this when I have so many enjoyable things to occupy my few precious minutes here and there.

Hopefully there will be no military coupe or whatnot.

I think perhaps my writer's block is comming from the fact that nothing seems new and facinating to the point that I want to explain it at length on here anymore. The only new facinating thing is Ju. He is extremely facinating. That and any tidbits I do think to write about end up as footnotes to my This Week in Bahia blog/flog.

There are many reasons I have not written, surely most are excusable. Most importantly, I only spend about 2 hours with Ju a day now, since he goes to bed so early. The majority of the days, I don't even bother to turn on the computer, because it is impossible to type and make sure he's not breaking something at the same time. I have also rediscovered the miracle of sleep, and am going to bed at 8:30 with Ju, which is WONDERFUL, despite having no time to do anything. In order to make this post, I am typing whilest pushing a flapping wooden penguin with my foot, a seseme stree video is playing, and Ju is slowly transfering the pile of books from one side of the room into my lap.

Every weekend we eat food from the United States. My mother in law sent us instant boxed food, like macaroni and cheese, and rice+flavor in a bag, just add water and butter and get your 500% daily allowance of MSG. It always seems to happen that by Sunday, there is so little food left, it just makes sense to make a box of mac and cheese to feed everyone instead, and then this "instant food" becomes so much easier to eat. Either I can wait 1.5 hours for beans to pressure cook, or I can eat fully processed food in 20 minutes or less! What a deal! I'm not sure why I don't buy the Brasilian versions of this type of food, perhaps because we have less of it, and probably also in part because it's SO expensive (imagine paying $10 for frozen lasanga). I never remember having this problem in the States, that I would go into the kitchen for a quick bite and there was nothing to eat that I didn't have to cook in some way other than fruit. Try as I might, I cannot remember what it was that I ate in times like this. Maybe I just went to Jimmy John's.

Ju knows English! Not just signs, it seems. He knows "put away" and "sit down" and things like that, but he has now shown that he knows and remembers associations with pictures, in both English and Portuguese. In a book about animals, I showed him a very tiny picture of a cat, telling him it was a GATA, since he says this all the time anyway. The following day he was looking at the same book and pointed to the picture and said "gata." Today, while he was looking at the same book, and I asked him "where's the kitty" he pointed to the cat! Somewhere in there are neuron pathways being reinforced!

The whole situation with school is just too far gone to update properly. I am still teaching, will continue to do so, and probably won't be compensated for my time fairly. But it is fun, and I am enjoying it, and I hope next year we will have a human for an administrator, instead of someone who just says things without thinking about the consequences. I already have my hopes up for our new principal, who is one of the nicest administrative heads I have ever met.

Same old school politics bullshit, different year. Same administrators, hmmmm, I wonder if this is a pattern.

School started today, and yesterday it is sprung on me that I will be teaching what they are calling and "ESL" course to the G4 students during the hour that they used to have Portuguese, but now will not because the administrators want a full immersion program for the EC. So, after having 5 days to prep my G3 classroom as an assistant, I now was given about 18 hours to prep to teach a course that has never been taught, never existed before, with no direction or objectives other than "Use only English." Needless to say I was a tad stressed. Besides the fact that they didn't have a clear answer on what they would be paying me to play teacher in the afternoon, other than a "compensational stipend" which I actually think would be illegal in my case, since I qualify as a Brasilian.

Today, no answers still, and as of this afternoon it's possible I will only teach 3 days a week and the other two will be Portuguese. But no news other than that. Should I half ass it. Should I do nothing since they evidently won't pay me anyway? Why does nothing function like it's supposed to?

School will soon begin again. Being back at work has done wonders for my depressed mood. I have been moved from the G4 to the G3 assistant position, now working under a woman that I doubt many people can take on right off the back (or is it bat?), but who I actually get along with very well. I was so inspired I spent most of today painting a lovely mural on the window, slightly based on the art work of Todd Parr, with flying children and the like. Everyone has been by to compliment it, with the one exception being the superintendent, with whom I don't get along with anyway.

Ju's vocabulary has expanded to include the word PUM, which means fart (for those of you who don't know). He even laughs when he farts now, which is quite amuzing. Sometimes I hear a fart and I think it was O Maridão, but he always blames it on Ju. I'm not sure when he's lying.

I have to stop eating these damn dark chocolate m&m's. The nanny is getting slimmer and I'm getting fat.

More time spent in the States means more reflection on what exactly I am doing here.

Yeah, Yeah, I know. I am lazy. So I figured I ought to update just a bit.

School is over for the semester and I am travelling to the States to visit in a few days. Ju is comming and O Maridão is staying here to pretend he has no obligations for a while. In a way, I envy him, but I would seriously die if I didn't see Ju for 3 weeks. I have no idea how he will survive.

Since the mugging incident, I have not gone out alone anywhere. Every time I go by that corner, I end up looking for the couple, as if by some miracle they would return and hang out there. I have no idea what I would do if I found them. Actually, I doubt I would recognize them at all. I only remember this woman's teeth as she talked through them. It's a shame because I would really like to go to Av. Sete, but I just can't bring myself to walk to the bus stop alone. I have two days off with the nanny here and I could go without Ju (a Miracle in it's self, go somewhere without the baby besides work), but I think it just won't happen. Stupid psycological impact....

I am cursed to never fit in physically here, I have to get over that. Besides having tatoos, I am too white, with light eyes.... it's a hopeless case. Pointy nose. Light brown hair. This makes me a target, right? Can't change it, right? What the hell is wrong with me?

Welcome to the club. I now have official knowledge that out there exists a Brasilian ID with my name and photo on it. And keeping up with the red carpet, on my way home today, on my street in fact, during rush hour and infront of 5 witnesses, I was relieved of my cellphone by a woman and a man with a kitchen knife. This, after a doozy of a day at school (details which I cannot really post here out of respect for others), really puts life in perspective. Honestly I'm not even that upset about loosing it, but it kinda sucks to loose all those phone numbers. Some of them I don't have written anywhere else. After a few more assualts, I'm sure I'll start joking with the assualters, just to lighten the mood. The woman seemed very angry, which I think is the most upsetting thing. And I eat with those knives every day. Ug.

A Girl, are you out there? You always comment, I assume you will be eventually.

Ju's birthday has come and gone. A long story, tiring to tell. A fun time was had by all, despite "inconvenient" visitors who arrived 3 hours late, after the party ended....

In other news, a friend was assaulted in front of her home in Villas on Monday, while getting into the car to take her son to school. The man took the car, purses, etc, but amazingly enough he was caught by police a few hours later and most things were returned, I think. At least the car was.

I always wondered about her place, when ever I would go visit there. There is just a huge empty lot space next to her house, never anyone in the streets... I would not want to live out there, just for the lack of civil assitance. She says she likes it because she can forget about the city when she's there. In the States, I suppose I would be the same way, but here I have grown to rely on the doormen, the gardener, the security guys patrolling the roads, even the street kids who know our car. I can't imagine being so isolated. See what city living does to you?

Even just now, my neighbors were at my window, asking for food donations for the daughter's school food drive. The girl from house 14 stops by peroidically to chat with Ju through the window. There are always kids out, running around, sounds of life everywhere. Brasilians call it openess or friendlyness or warmness. Most Americans would call it noseyness.

I know I should write more often, but it's hard with a crawling baby. See, now he's up the stairs again...

Old life versus new life: I finally came up with the meaning of that damn dream. I am in the airport, on my way to Brasil, and some pet of mine escapes in the airport. I have to decide to either miss my plane and catch it, or just go along without it and probably never see it again. I never did do either, so it was always a very disturbing dream. I had it repetitively right before I moved here, and for several months after, and then a variation of it during the last months I was pregnant with Ju. In this version, I would be chasing the cats through a hospital and I had to find a certain room. Every time I would find it, the cats would disappear again and by the time I found them, I would have lost my way to the room. Finally, I found the cats in a room full of other cats. These cats were their friends and I decided they would be okay hanging out with these cats until I could come back for them. When I woke up, I remembered this and then every time that dream came back, I was able to insert the knowledge that they would be okay and wait there for me into the dream. It's been a long time since I had that dream.

While talking to my father the other night, I suddenly analyzed the whole meaning, which I am rather excited about. The cats or pets were my old life, the life I had in the States, and the flight or the room was my new life. Do I leave the old life behind, never to be see again? Do I miss the new life to keep track of the old life? If I leave the old life, will it be okay without me? Neat, huh? Took my almost a year to figure it out, but at least now I know what it means.

I exist!

"oi...esta gostando do brazil? " - a comment from Nitim.

This has to be the most asked question to me here. I think just about every Brasilian I meet who figures out I am not a native born Bahiana (go figure) asks me this question. I have no idea what kind of an answer to give, other than "yes." It's like "how are you doing?" and you automatically answer "fine." I remember during high school I wasn't always fine and I hated that I automatically answered with that reply, so I made a consciouse effort to change it to "tired" because that was usually true. It was really starting to get on my nerves until I started working at PanAm and found myself asking the newly arrived gringos the same thing.

So what does one say to this type of comment?

"I lived here in a past life, so I had to return."
"Fine thanks, are you liking it as well?"
"Culture shock still hasn't worn off."
"Huh? Yeah, duh?"
"No, but I got married and had a baby, so I'm kinda stuck now."
"Yes." (unimaginative, but sometimes I just am tired of the other answers)

Semantics of the context in English don't always allow for these to make sense, but in Brasil we seem to change topics like we change position, so no one ever has done a double take.

So Nitim, yes, I am liking Brasil. It's a great country, and the longer I live here the more I realize it's like the States and the more I miss the States. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

Ju's is full of little noises these days. The newest one sounds a lot like a Steven Tyler scream.

Quote from Mila:

"We have two eyes, two ears, two nostrils... but we seem to talk more than we listen, see, or use any other senses. It's amazing how one hole can overtake everything."

I notice I'm getting down to one post a month here. I swear it's not because I don't love you all who read this on a regular basis, it's just that I'm lazy. You'll notice this week/month in Bahia has suffered the same fate. I swear I will try harder.

Woot! I am headed to the U.S. in December! With Ju! Followed by O Maridão a few days later.

o0kommk,,,d.fxcde//.,ddddb



An original composition by Julian.

The way things work out just amaze me some times. Thinking back on it, if I hadn't gotten pregnant with Ju, I probably would have been hired to work before I applied to Pan American, and would never have gotten the opportunity to work in the preschool. And consequently, I would not have been seen as being misplaced and no one would have mentioned my name to fill the position of the high school English teacher that is leaving.

The possibility of it is terribley tempting for me. I started redoing my teaching portfolio, updating my teaching philosophy, and even started brainstorming ideas on class projects. I think I would be really good for this job, having an ESL background, judging from what the former teacher told me. And it would pay more, which is always a good thing. On the other hand, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I will really really miss those kids. They are loud, obnoixious, hard to control, drive you crazy, but man I love working with those ankle biters! I have gotten kinda attatched. No, really, I am attatched. No kinda about it.

So I am just going to assume that so far as the Universe has guided me to where I am, the forces will push me to where it is best for me to be right now. If they find some one else to fill the position in the highschool, well, then I'm happy with my four year olds and being a mom in the evenings. And if I leave one building for another, then I can always visit the students who were shorter than me when I need a break from those who are taller. I cannot doubt the way the energies have pushed me, because they have given me a wonderful husband and a beautiful son.

I'm really starting to sound religious....

I have larangitis. No voice today. Which would make teaching 14 four year olds impossible for the most part, but kinda gives you a perspective on which ones actually respect you. Those who have to come close and try to understand wispered English really do want to be good. Thankfully, most of them did. Most, not all. At least I don't still fell sick on top of it.

I spent some time talking to Alana today, the new middle school science teacher from South Caronlina. She was recounting all the challenges of living and working in Brasil. I remember feeling that way, so frustrated that things just didn't work well, efficiently, or logically. I don't remember when I let go of that feeling (though I can see the evidence of it when I go back and read my blog entries from my move), but I no longer have it. All I could say was "well, that's Brasil..." I mean, it's not a cut on the country or anything, it's just a fact. Things ARE THAT WAY, there is no other way. I think the only reason people here don't get so stressed about it is because they are used to it. That is the way things have worked their whole lives, or not worked, as the case may be. They know no other reality.

There is apparently a couple leaving the school completely, on Sunday. Both adults are teaching in the middle and high school and have had so many problems from the get go, that they just couldn't take it anymore. I had thought only the woman was leaving, having heard something about issues with the nanny and such, so she was going to stay home with the kids. But today I overheard they were both leaving, or rather, the whole family was. I had just sent them both an email, saying if they needed advice or help or just to vent, they could call me, because I had been there and felt like they were feeling etc.... too little too late I guess. I keep trying to call them now on the phone, but it's always busy.

The amount of time you spend waiting for something interesting to happen is in direct ratio with the lack of time you have to type it all out when it finally does. Such is the meaning of life too I'm sure. Maybe that's why no one has figured it out yet and lived to tell the tale.

Over the course of the first weeks of July, I spent over $250 (that's U.S. dollars) on getting Ju registered with the U.S. consulate and getting both his passports. All this in the HOPE that someone or most likely several people will pay for us to fly to the States and visit during Xmas. The amount of documentation one needs to do this was quite impressive. I brought everything from transcripts to photo print outs to birth certificates to ultrasounds... And not to mention filling out 8 or so different forms. Luckily the woman at the consulate is very helpful and nice and tolerant of the insanity I guess. They even let us change a diaper on their counter.

There is always this nice element when you are looking forward to something, especially a trip, that makes it easier to get up in the morning. I'm not sure I should be using it so much yet, since nothing is set in stone, but it certainly helps my getting up at 6AM issues. I might even be able to get up earlier and make some coffee. Yes, that's right, I am back in the habit again. Forces of nature assured it (and the fact that 4 year olds seem to have drunk a whole pot of espresso by the time they get to school at 8AM). Now maybe I can break my chocolate addiction.

Also to look forward to is the arrival of a friend of mine for an extended stay. Slowly, I think all my friends from my Portuguese class at MSU will migrate here and pass through my home. The idea of having a stable place to rest your head in another country is a nice thought. It certainly made my move down here easier. It's also nice that I am able to answer so many questions about the process. All my headaches were not in vain since I can pass the knowledge on to those in need. I feel all helpful and intelligent and stuff. You know, like... stuff...

I wish I had some chai tea...

So the first week of Pan American is over. Well, the inservice part of it, anyway. It's great fun sitting and cutting out small cardboard fruit and decorating the classroom, but I have to admit, it's been a while since I did an 8 hour day. I have been tired. On top of that, Ju is doing this wiggle all night thing and sleeping during the day, so what little sleep I could get, I'm not, really...

At least the milking myself thing seems to be working out okay. I have a 15 minute break in the morning where I can quickly go squeeze my boobs and try to prevent or correct rock formation in my chest and I can store it in the nice super cold fridge in the Canteen (what the cafeteria is called, for some reason). Then Ju comes at lunch to breast feed, and I can still find 15 minutes at the end to eat. I hope it won't take him too long to get into this new schedual. Ideally he would eat more in the evenings and at night, and less during the day. Right now, I'd rather have him sleep during the day and eat when he's with me, but we'll see how I feel about that after several weeks of little sleep.

There are many ACBEU teachers now working at Pan American. It's like a mass migration. You'd think this would clue them in that something is seriously wrong - they are loosing good teachers! But no, it seems they are only insulted.

A good friend and fellow teacher who has been a contractor for 3 years also is now working at Pan American (in the classroom next to mine, no less). She just found out she got the job this week, and notified our former workplace on Wednesday. Because her position was part time starting early in the morning, she would be unable to teach any morning groups. Essentially, what she was told was that they were going to try to hire her, but since she can't offer mornings anymore (read between the lines - she got a REAL job) that has changed. First off, there are seldome that many morning groups to begin with, and there are lots of teachers who want mornings so they can be with their kids in the afternoon. Secondly, why would her inability to take ONE or TWO groups in the morning affect the fact that they were planning on hiring her? She would still be teaching all the other sections, so other than thinking her a traitor because she would dare to look for a secure job elsewhere after being strung along not being paid 4 months out of year for the last 3 years, I can't imagine why their decision suddenly changed. What it really seems like to me was a threat. And I HATE when my friends are threatened. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what it was too, knowing how they took my notification that I wasn't comming back.

When I informed them I wasn't returning, I didn't sit around and chit chat like I guess one might do here. Culturally, I think I will always want to be more direct to the point. So I walked into the office and sat down and said "I have been offered a job at Pan American which I am going to take, so I won't be returning to teach here" - what I wanted to say was "You guys really dragged your feet on hiring me because first you figured I had no other prospects and then because I was pregnant. And while I can understand the pregnancy thing, you guys knew what financial trouble we were in and you still, even after me begging you and trying to arrange for subs, STILL only gave me one group and essential said 'screw you' - so this is my way of saying it back." That would have been so much more satisfying to say. The reaction was "Oh, that's too bad. Well, you didn't have your papers..." and I corrected "No, I did have my papers, and my legal work permit." And then it was added "... and you were pregnant..." and I conquer "Yes, I was pregnant." and then ... silence. I think it was just admiteed that the reason I wasn't hired was because I was pregnant, and probably because no one up top wanted to bother to pay my maternity leave. Boy does it feel good to nonverbally get them in some way.

So after both my, and my friend's experience, I am really irritated at the institution in general, especially those in charge of hiring new teachers. They have so many people in there, just being strung along with no benefits and no job security. From all I have been told, what is being done is essencially illegal. And now they are loosing good teachers. I don't feel sorry at all.

Between crabby Ju and my mom visiting, and getting a new job, I have not had time to type much. Won't have time now either, because Ju just woke up. Oh well.

Just as we run into the predicament with the post office, the giant washing machine sized box (actually the box it might have come in, to be more exact on sizing) that minha sogra sent sometime in February or March arrives. Within it were hidden: a new computer keyboard, a toaster oven, and a television. I have no idea how this got past customes. From the amount of things contained in that box, you would think we would have had to pay R$1000 or more in taxes, no even considering the television... It is a mystery.

Sorting through it took over an hour. There are countless things, mountains of clothing (most of which we will give away), and about 20 onesies for Julian. I don't know what to do with all of this stuff. Right now it's just piled all over the living room and the entire downstairs smells like the U.S. (or maybe this is just the scent of things that have been mailed). Lela had great fun jumping in and out of the box. Ona and Julian are oblivious. They are a lot alike in that way.

Ju is becomming like a real person. He follows things with his eyes and even kind of has some different sounds now, beside just crying. He also whines now. Last night he let me sleep, but I woke up with a horrible migrain headache, probably caused by the yellow fever vaccine I got yesterday when he was getting his second Hep B innoculation. It felt like I ate a tomato. I should have eaten one just to taste it again, as long as I was going to feel like crap anyway...

Today I found I can fit into my cute short skirts again (how appropriate is it that a new mom wear this sort of clothing, I don't know...), but I still have a major gut and love handles to loose. The great and wise Caryn says I should do weighted side bends to loose the love handles. I hope 4.5 kilos is enough weight, since that is what ju weighs. He has gained 1.5 kilos since birth- a little over a month ago. Big boy. Big Jujube.

I will update the this week in Bahia site today. I meat to update it a few weeks ago, but forgot. I got some lovely shots on the way to the pediatrician's yesterday, so there will be lots to look at. I'll put up the old ones too, from two weeks ago or when ever it was, just for entertainment value.

Note to anyone anywhere thinking about mailing anything to Brasil:

There is a limit on tax free things comming into the country. I have no idea what the yearly limit is, if there is one, but I do know for sure that any box/envelope is only tax free up to $50. After that amount, or if the postal employees determine that the worth is over $50 when they open the box (they might), the recipient must pay 100% of the value, or something similar to that, in order to recieve the box. So in the end, the person sending it pays for it, pays to mail it, and then the recipient pays for it again.

So right now, there is a box with my name on it at Correios, that I must pay R$146 to recieve. We don't have this money. So the box will have to sit there for an undetermined amount of time. I have no idea who it is from.

So here we are in winter. You wouldn't know it by the temperature, but it might be identifyable by the type of rain. The heat has been unusually high the last few days, yet the nights are pleasantly cool enough to use a sheet to cover one's self for a change. Not that I sleep much these days. Julian has decided night time is when he will eat real meals, as opposed to the snacks he eats every 20 minutes several times a day. I suppose I should be greatful on some level. I already was waking up that often to go pee while I was still pregnant, so small blessings: these days I don't have to get out of bed, I just have to find something to soak up the extra milk with.

Two days ago we kinda warped his schedual by going on a late night ice cream run - put him in a car seat and into a car or into an environment with a lot of noise and he sleeps like... well, like a baby. He sleeps very hard. Due to this, he slept right through his normal awake time, so he decided to make up for it at 3AM. Awake time consists of about 3 to 4 hours where he is fussy, wants to walk around and look at things, and generally makes a lot of grunting, snorting, farting, whining noises. If I don't hold him during these times, he cries and cries and cries. So 3AM rolls around and guess who wants to go for a walk in the stroller? Of course, I'm not really going to go do this at 3AM in my underware, so we listened to some NPR on the computer instead. It was actually quite enjoyable and eventually he fell asleep agaist my chest while I was sitting here, at about 6:30AM. I remember distintly writing in my blog, about this time last year, that I was going to watch the sunrise at some point here. So a year later, it finally happens. Better late than never.

O Maridão has a client comming to do a map today, so I must go set up the tent downstairs, make things look mystical. Better take advantage of Ju's mid morning nap. This is generally when I get to shower, eat, and do my own things. He sleeps almost 2 and a half hours strait. If only they weren't weed wacking the grass here since 7AM this morning, I could have napped too. Oh well.

Sorry for the long span between posts here. Julian was born May 1st, so anyone with kids can imagine what life has been like since then. But fear not, I will return with a full report as soon as I can sit here long enough to write one.

Well I'll be dipped. They did publish my letter, despite not verifying who I am. Maybe there are still people I know working there.

http://www.statenews.com/op_article.phtml?pk=29613

Saturday was the Châ de Julian. It was a lovely party with a large amount of balloons blown up by Emeli, a fellow contractor at work. Time management kinda made the games a flop, but the decorations were nice. I had taught all morning (on my feet), and then cooked all afternoon to feed people. Most of the night I was in pain and very tired. I thought it was just from over doing it.

Then low and behold, Sunday morning my belly is about an inch lower than it was the previous day, accompanied by a lot of back pain and semi-period like cramps. Although it's very entertaining that it happened that fast, it's also very painful still. Even after going to the chiropractor today, I'm still feeling that dull ache in my back. If this lasts the next 5 weeks, I don't know what I will do. I'm sure he's got farther down to go still...

You can see updated photos on the belly site. I also made the photos of the châ public, but I'm not sure what good that does for anyone who wants to see them. Maybe search for akutygerdabahia in yahoo photos?

Yet another link with film footage of Saturday in E.L.

http://www.msu.edu/~harri131/

Apparently there is a video of the Spartan Riot from April 3rd. I have not yet viewed it, but for those interested, here is the link:

http://www.msu.edu/~kershne2/MSU%20Riots%202k5%20(small).wmv

Another Spartan loss and another Spartan riot has been in the news. I have to say, I'm not surprised there was police presence and actions, but I am suprised that there was so much action, and so much tear gas. After reading many of the articles, I even went so far as to write a letter for the opinion section, although I doubt they will publish it, since they have to call and confirm the identity of letter writers and I am betting good money that they won't be authorized to call Brasil... In any case, since I thought it was a particularly good letter, I'm posting it here.



After having read several stories about the actions taken by the East Lansing Police, not all of which came from The State News, I have to make comment.

Having attended MSU for the duration of two degrees which included all of the “riot years,” I have experienced my share of gatherings in Cedar Village, most of which were very rowdy, but no more riotous than Carnival in Brazil (and no one here pelts us with tear gas). It is a gathering place for inebriated students to feel that Spartan Spirit, even in the face of defeat. It has been that way for much longer than our university has been known for riots. When there are sporting events, you know what happens in Cedar Village.

This us why I find comments like that of City Manager Ted Staton so ridiculous – “There was a significant amount of money spent to send a message to the crowd. They had unlawfully assembled - that is what happens when people are in places they shouldn't be.” (State News article “Top City Officials Absent for Melee" 4/6/05 at http://www.statenews.com/article.phtml?pk=29507). Everyone, including I hope, the City Manager, knows that students go to Cedar Village. It seems apparent that somewhere between the Final Four entrance celebration there and the Final Four defeat gathering, that someone other than those who gather there (an apparently who wasn’t even in the city at the time) decided it wasn’t a place students were supposed to be. Well, golly gee sir, where should they go then? To the bars that closed at 12:30? On to campus to study like good little scholars? Home to their dorms to be calm and collected? One must realize how ridiculous that assumtion is. Many had to vacate their apartments in Cedar Village due to the tear gas. Where should they have gone? Maybe if someone had informed the students that Cedar Village was no longer a place they could be before hand, the city could have saved a little money, eh?

What I really suspect happened here is the assumption that a Final Four loss would result in a similar outcome to that which occurred back in 1999. This was not a "just cause" reaction. This was a “pre-emptive” strike. And like some others so famously discussed before, an unnecessary one.