Warning to my conservative readers - there are naughty words in this post. Also, children should not be present for viewing of the video if English is their native language.


Tuesdays and Thursdays I go to my water bike class. It's at an academy near by our house and everyone goes there - my husband, Ju, and me - a various times during the week. We have a good relationship with all the teachers and the owner and it's been a great experience going there.

I need music to exercise - like most people. My usual water bike teacher downloads things online and brings mix CDs to play during our classes. She even went so far as to find cool down stretching music to play at the end. She has really been going all out.

Today was an exceptionally hard work out with bike, abs with leg weights on, and trampoline in cycles. In the middle of the class, right about the time I started my second abs set, a new song began to play that I had never heard before and I began to laugh so hard that I was unable to do very much. The main lyrics of this song consisted of something along the following:

I wanna lick your pussy
Put your pussy next to mine
my pussy likes a big hunk of meat in it

Then it changed:

You wanna suck my dick
I wanna lick your pussy
I wanna fuck your pussy


Mind you, as this is playing, blasting across the pool, there are numerous 7-14 year olds in various states of swimming or listening to teachers, parents, nannies, all sitting there listening to this song. I asked the teacher if she had any idea what was being sung in the song, which of course she didn't. I told her to ask my husband to translate it for her the next time he went to swim, because I just did not have sufficient slang Portuguese to do it justice.

This video about sums it up.

Actual conversation this afternoon -

Ju - "Mommy, I wanna piranya." (referring to the hair clip)

Me - "Okay honey, you can play with one."

Ju - "Mommy, I wanna see a enwins."

Me - "The what?"

Ju - "I wanna see a enwins, in there." (pointing to the closet area)

Me - "You wanna see an engine? I don't think there is an engine in there."

Ju - "No, a enwins. There's enwints in there. I wanna see."

Me - "Ants? There are ants in there? I don't see any ants."

Ju - "No, a enwints. In there! The enwints. Enwings! I wanna see!"

Me - "Ju, I can't figure out what you are talking about. I don't see an engine and I don't see ants."

Ju - "Enwings! Enwingts! Da ... eawings. eawings!"

Me - "Oh! You want to see the earings in the box? Okay, now I understand..."

Last night we went to the "Praia 24 horas" event to see some bossa nova played on a stage in the middle of the ocean (while the audience all sat on the beach). It was great fun - lots of food and drink vendors walking around, we met up with some friends, parking wasn't too much trouble, and you could swim out to the stage and tread water watching the artists sing and play right in front of you. I stayed out for half of one guy's set - I had forgotten I could just tread water like that for that long. (I actually think I swam a lot more last night than I really have since I moved here - I have a terrible fear of ocean currents and waves and rip tides that I'm not sure when and where it came from.) The event was well organized and safe and pleasant for a free event in Bahia; I was quite impressed. We even went so far as to take the digital camera for some nice random shots.

After we dropped off Isis and Vito (family friends; Vito is Ju's age minus 3 months) at 11:30, we came home and Gustavo had the great idea to skinny dip in the condo's pool. I have not skinny dipped here since I first moved here, mostly for fear of seeing my neighbors, or worse their kids, who are often out later than late. The good thing is that our house is right next to the pool, so anyone looking out of their windows to see us incognito would have to be doing it from ours - no worries there. I was rather nervous about it at first, since it's much easier to see that a woman is naked in the pool than a man (although because of tan lines this late in the summer, it is quite obvious) and I actually let my hair get all chlorinated in hopes that it would shield my embarrassment should we suddenly have company. After some time playing with Ju, who has gotten over his fear of going under the water after two months of swimming classes, I forgot I was naked until Gustavo pointed out that I had done so, at which point I started hearing voices and decided to get out before someone saw me. About 15 minutes after we got out, a bunch of teenagers took over the pool area until well after 2 am. Good timing!

Ju thourally enjoyed the experience and promptly asked to go swim naked as soon as he got up this morning. I explained to him that mommy and daddy can't swim naked during the day but that because he is small still, he can swim naked if he wants to, at home. He seems pretty excited about the prospect of going back into the pool and trying to swim, naked. Hopefully it will work the same way if I make him wear his sunga again.

Funny story - There is a group of guys who walk around our neighborhood as security who blow a whistle to let us know all is well. It's part of the background noise to me, like the barking dogs and traffic sounds. About a month ago, Ju suddenly became aware of them and kept saying it was a bird ("passarinho"), and I kept telling him it was the "segurança." Finally last night when he heard the whistle, he said "bird no. Seguarança." A little while later we were looking at a book with a parrot in it, and I told him something like "it's a parrot, a bird that is a parrot" to which he replied "parrot no. Segurança." I love how kids' brains work.