Last night we went to the birthday party of one of my students. Kids birthdays here are often in "kid's buffets" where you can rent out the place for the evening for a certain price, have your choice of foods to munch on, pop, beer, etc. The places are decked out with big climbing toys, small time rides, ball pits, and video games (think Chuck-E-Cheeses but imagine you could rent the whole place and not have to help pay the bill at the end if you are a guest). It's usually a good time, the kids are reasonable safe (at least, usually one brings the nanny or the maid to keep an eye on them so you can socialize - I am not one of these people, however) and they get really really tired and totally crash at the end, which is nice.

So last night's birthday was at one of the venues near my house, so I could walk there with Ju without too much worry. I didn't take a purse or any valuables, as we would be coming back at 8 pm in the dark by ourselves. All I took was my key chain with the house keys. When we arrived, as it was a closed building, I parked my keys on a table out of the way of the main adult's area and followed Ju around as he played. About an hour later, I saw one of the guys who worked for the venue walking around swinging my keys, so I chased after him to claim them back. He told me he thought they belonged to the owner of the place. Whatever. I took them and left them on a bench near where Ju was playing. At the end of the night, they were still there and we got a quick ride home from a mom and that was that.

I didn't even think much about it until today when I got home and went to unlock my door again that I noticed the key chain was lighter. I used to have a small collection of key chains - a Korean mask given to me by an ESL student, a key chain I got as the end of year gift from The Impact (the radio station I worked for in college), a DI key chain I bought in Rio in March, a US Rowing rope, and a self defense tool that Ju thinks is a pen but is actually stolid steel that you can jab into the side of someone who tries to bother you (or where ever you want to jab it). After closer inspection of my key chain, I saw The Impact one was missing. My house keys had been on there. My house keys were now clipped into the belt loop clip of my DI key chain.

I am rather sad because it was a sentimental gift that was stolen, but still you can't help but appreciate the consideration of whoever stole it; they took the time to take BOTH my house keys off the and make sure they remained with the the rest by clipping them in. This is one of the nice things about Brasil - even the thieves are considerate like this much of the time. I hope who ever took it is happy with it, since it was a heavy duty thing and good quality. I took it as a sign that it was time to let go of all that clutter and I am now down to my DI key chain, the rope and the "pen." If I ever happen upon it out in the world, however unlikely, I might say something to the possessor, but I would not ask for it back.

Warning to my conservative readers - there are naughty words in this post. Also, children should not be present for viewing of the video if English is their native language.


Tuesdays and Thursdays I go to my water bike class. It's at an academy near by our house and everyone goes there - my husband, Ju, and me - a various times during the week. We have a good relationship with all the teachers and the owner and it's been a great experience going there.

I need music to exercise - like most people. My usual water bike teacher downloads things online and brings mix CDs to play during our classes. She even went so far as to find cool down stretching music to play at the end. She has really been going all out.

Today was an exceptionally hard work out with bike, abs with leg weights on, and trampoline in cycles. In the middle of the class, right about the time I started my second abs set, a new song began to play that I had never heard before and I began to laugh so hard that I was unable to do very much. The main lyrics of this song consisted of something along the following:

I wanna lick your pussy
Put your pussy next to mine
my pussy likes a big hunk of meat in it

Then it changed:

You wanna suck my dick
I wanna lick your pussy
I wanna fuck your pussy


Mind you, as this is playing, blasting across the pool, there are numerous 7-14 year olds in various states of swimming or listening to teachers, parents, nannies, all sitting there listening to this song. I asked the teacher if she had any idea what was being sung in the song, which of course she didn't. I told her to ask my husband to translate it for her the next time he went to swim, because I just did not have sufficient slang Portuguese to do it justice.

This video about sums it up.

Ju is now 3 years old. Time just flies by, doesn't it? We had our normal big hoorah on Thursday - a feiJUada. About 50 people came with kids of various ages. There was feijoada, salad, rice, kibe, pao delicia, brigadeiro, bonbons, etc. I spent some 3 hours putting up my home made train decorations (I spent an entire Sunday making engines and cars that had 3 and Ju all over them out of paper and colored puffy paint) all over the walls and by the pool, blowing up balloons and making the quebra-pot. Part of the simple beauty of the decorations included strips of crepe paper in purple and blue. They blew in the wind in a relaxing way and made the whole area look very festive. As an after thought, we added pieces of it to the backs of the chairs as well.

About an hour into the party, a sudden cloud passed over and it rained all over us for about 5 minutes. The kids were all playing train by crawling through several boxes taped together and they stayed inside the "tunnel" for protection for the duration. I didn't think much of it as it was happening, but as the minute passed, I noticed that the color from the crepe paper was running down freshly painted white walls all around us. At first I laughed until the possibility that the dye might STAY there was mentioned and then I promptly began worrying about the cost of having to repaint the entire outside walls of the condo. This basically dominated my thoughts for the remainder of the party as I followed Ju around, cleaning up trash as I found it and trying to keep Ju's toys from being lost in the condo as our living room was invaded by the party and the kids discovered them and consequently began wandering around outside with them. A kid I don't even know but who came with one of the kids we invited wandered around and had torn down almost all the decorations before I saw what was going on. No adults stepped in to stop him, of course. This made me incredibly sad.

At about sunset, I couldn't stand it any longer, found someone else to keep an eye on Ju and started looking for ways to remove the dye on the walls. I quickly discovered that there was no Veja or bleach or even Q-Boa in the house (how did that happen?), so I took out a bucket and dish soap and a dish scrubbing sponge and a bit of water and started scrubbing away. Surprisingly, the dye did actually begin to come off with a lot of effort, and I was quite relieved. Someone came by and said something to the effect of "good thing you're doing it now, if you left it longer it might not come off" - which unfortunately killed my plans to quit until the party was actually over, so I kept on scrubbing. I was soon joined by the nanny of one of Ju's friends and my nanny's sister and my friend the Lion who was nice enough to bring me a Guiness but I had not been able to stop and enjoy it with him. We continued to scrub our way across the wall for about 2 hours, and with the help of some borrowed Veja someone got from another household and some steal wool (which I think actually took a lot of the paint off the wall along with the dye), we managed to get most of the marks off the walls. At least it seemed that way in the dark, and I actually haven't had the heart to go out there and see if it's really gone in the daylight. After the walls were done, we had to do the chairs as well.

This entire process meant that I didn't socialize AT ALL, for the entire party. It seemed like every time I started talking to someone, Ju would wander off, or someone else would show up and need to be greeted, or someone else's kid would be trying to throw more of Ju's toys into the pool (where do these parents get off to when the kids are invading someone's house I wonder). At least Ju had a good time. The party only really got fun for me when most of the guests had left and the remaining few and their kids all crowded into our living room to watch Woody Woodpecker and play in a more controlled manner. Some of the people I love the most were those who stayed, so it was nice to have their company and relax at the end of the evening (the older kids even helped Ju finish opening his presents, which was fun for everyone).

Things I learned from this birthday -

NO crepe paper on the walls, no matter how pretty it looks - it has ALWAYS rained on Ju's birthday, every year.

Purple crepe paper dye is easier to scrub off than blue (which leaves behind a pinkish tinge) and black.

Do not leave the house open, as it is next to the pool, the party will inevitabley spill into it if I don't lock the door.

Hide all toys and objects that I don't want to wander around with kids.

Don't expect parents to keep an eye on their kids or ask them to not do things like tear down my sweat and tears hand made decorations. Or better yet, don't hang them low enough for kids to reach.

Since eventually the majority of the party goers were in or around the pool, concentrate things in that area next year to save time and clean up area.

Don't stress about not getting to talk to many people because I think I am just not meant to socialize until Ju is older. How much older, who knows.



The sad thing is, many of these things I should have learned last year. This year was supposed to be easier. About the only thing that was easier was the setting up the decorations.

Do these headlines about "Tibeten suicide bombers" and the Chinese accusing Tibet of "terror tactics" sound ridiculous to you? Also, do they sound familiar? Tibet, the symbol of peace and democracy and meditation - why would they be terrorists? Hmmmmm, I wonder if the Chinese learned these terms somewhere and decided to use them to their advantage.... Where would that be?

Every time we ask for a pizza from Pizza Hut, they screw it up. Every time. Every time we wait and wait and wait for it to come just to send it back and ask for another one that is what we actually asked for. Anywhere in the States, this would spell death for the managers and whoever was screwing up phoned in orders, but not here. Here it means I am hungry and it's 10:30 and I still have no pizza.

Thunder! Lightning! Floods! Stranded cars! (HEAD LINE)

Last night we had a huge "big boomer," as my Bryan-Dad would call it. It's a rare thing here, thunderstorms. Not sure if that's a common coast thing or not, having only lived in MI before coming here, I grew up with thunderstorms and tornados and thought them a normal part of summer.

Here it's a big event. People get scared. And for good reason - these kinds of storms bring big rain, and despite this rain being a fairly common kind of event on a monthly basis, there is yet to be a good drainage system in place for most of the city, so entire major roadways flood (those of you in MI area, imagine what would happen if suddenly I-94 completely flooded out and all that traffic had to find another route for about 5 hours), walls collapse, sewers over flow, and mudslides in favelas kill 10's of people. Not the mention the accidents caused by the water standing on the roads, cars that entered and got stuck, sitting abandoned, or floating away to run into someone or something.

My husband told me an interesting story of his drive home yesterday. There is a major vein road called ACM (Antonio Carlos Magalhaes)that connects the Orla (the road that runs along the coast) and the road that runs to the airport (called Parallela) that ALWAYS floods during rains like this, always in the direction of those headed for the coast. What usually happens is that the traffic some how finds it's way onto the opposing side driving the wrong way and after a few horn beeps, everything seems to work out. Apparently it was so bad last night that traffic couldn't even flow on the Parallela bound side and it was all forced onto a side street that runs parallel to this road. This road is a one-way, Parallela bound road as well. Now that you read all that and didn't understand it, you can check out this map, zoom in, and try to see what I'm talking about if you so desire. If not, read on.


View Larger Map

What apparently happened is that the traffic from ACM ocean bound quickly diverged itself onto this road going the wrong way, while traffic going the right way (ACM airport bound) did the same in the opposite direction, both with the intent of getting the freak out of the mess of flooding, undrivable road. So this basically amounts to 4 lanes of traffic in each direction (2X4 = 8 lanes total) packing itself onto a 4 lane street with almost no roads to turn off on to, and meeting in the middle, nose to nose, and nobody could do a damn thing about it. You couldn't very well drive over the cars in front of you, but you couldn't back up either because the cars just kept coming up behind you trying to escape the flooded road. So you had another complete blockage. Like someone cut off all routes between the Orla and Parallela, because basically that is what happened.

My husband, by some miracle witnessed this and didn't get stuck in it (no idea how he managed that), thought it might be a good idea to call the traffic police to come direct traffic and get it moving again. So he called and called and no one every picked up. So he called the local cops (Policia Militar) and had the following conversation:

(phone rings)
(someone picks up but says nothing. There is back ground noise and some people talking)
My Husband - "Hello? Hello...."
Random Dude - "Hello!"
My Husband - "Ummmm, is this the Military Police?"
Random Dude - "Uh, yes, yes, it is."
My Husband - "Well, see, there is a huge huge cluster fuck of a traffic jam here and I tried calling the Traffic Police, but they don't answer. I thought maybe you could radio them or something and let them know that someone needs to ...."
(Dude interrupts) "You need to call the Traffic Police."
My Husband - "Yeah, look, I did that and no one picks up, but something has to be done here..."
Random Dude - "Uh, yeah, thanks brother, thanks."
(click)

I seriously doubt that anyone was called or notified. I suppose eventually the mess worked itself out. They almost always do. But lots of people were hurt last night, from flooding, falling, stranding. One of my coworkers had to walk all the way home in hip deep water because she couldn't get a bus home from class, then she fell down a mud hill and hit her head. We read today that the ambulance service here had no power last night, so they received no calls and were unable to be dispatched to help anyone.

And this is modern?

If someone could just figure out how to make a drain work properly, we could avoid all this.

Be sure to check out THIS WEEK IN BAHIA later for videos of the river that was a street near my house, tidal waves by buses, and some nice shots of the street on a normal day for comparison.

I just discovered my credit card has been cloned. Now I have no credit card. Not helpful.

I haven't used Travelocity.com for flights in a long time since they didn't used to allow you to have your embarking airport outside of the US. Today, just for shits and giggles, I decided to compare the quotes between them and Expedia, who I usually use. To my utter disbelief, I was quoted $7189 to fly from Salvador to Michigan and was given only ONE option in flights, whilst Expedia quoted the exact same flight (with less stops) for $1500. I was so totally appalled at the price, I sent them a customer service inquiry, just to tell them they were ridiculous.

Just want I wanted for Xmas - a cold. I can't believe I have gone almost the whole semester without catching almost anything! I guess I should count my blessings since I spent virtually the first two years strait of being a preschool teacher being sick with one thing or another. I chalk this one up to elevate stress levels due to the construction in my room over the holiday vacation and the pressure of having to empty the whole thing of all toys and materials by Friday (while still teaching 15 three year olds from 7-12 and running DI in the afternoons) and the strange actions of the PTA this morning, when they just popped in the middle of work period and started removing old toys and furniture because they were going to "replace" it with "new materials" in "January" (want to believe them? Try reading my rant about the school printer which we just got a new one TODAY). After kind of politely telling them to come back later when I had some time to devote to their cleaning, I went to the superintendent and called our coordinator who is on maternity leave and found out that the PTA did not tell anyone what they were doing and did not have this "authorization" or whatever they seemed to think they had. They were unapologetic about the mess they created and now I am missing furniture in my room which I need.

Living in a foreign country is supposed to be.... what? What is it that we think will be so great about it? I remember thinking how cool it would be to go live in another country - I think all language majors go through this. I even had one former classmate from SPN 400 and something who had found me on facebook tell me she was "trying not to be jealous of my life." We have some kind ideal in our heads about learning another language, living another culture... And those of us who actually get to do it are left trying to remember why we were so obsessed with it in the first place. When I lived in the States, I couldn't get enough Mexican, then Argentine, and then Brasilian culture - I listened to "native" music with all my windows rolled down in the car at top volume, singing in another language at the top of my lungs. I read things in Spanish and Portuguese as often as I could, I listened to radio stations online, I went to chat-in-fill-in-your-language-of-choice-here groups.

And now the farther I am from my own culture, the more closely I cling to it. I enter my iPod world every day on the way to and from work; the music I listen to is mostly what you'd hear on the radio in the States. I cling to American friends online more than I do to Brasilian friends I see everyday day. I NEVER read Portuguese by choice anymore - I am desperate for things to read in English. I spend hours online each weekend reading up the profiles of people I have not had much contact with since I rowed with them on Crew in 2004, yet somehow this is more interesting to me than watching the weekend specials on our antenna television. I would rather wait for a YouTube video of part of a Simpsons episode to load than watch a full program here.

There is nothing to be jealous of in terms of living in another country. I don't know why I thought it would be so glamorous....

Well, we didn't go to the island for the vacation weekend because of the rain. Just as well I guess, since I had to spend most of yesterday recovering from going to an all night party and having a bit too much cachaça. I don't understand what happens after you have kids - it's like your whole biology changes. I used to be able to go to the bar, drink till 2, get up and have 5:20 practice for crew, go to an 8 am class.... Now I have one beer and feel hung over for hours afterwards.

Brrr, why is it so cold? I don't remember it being this cold in the last 3 years since I have lived here - I am drinking hot coco and wearing socks!